Living for Jesus

2008-04-03T00:43:00.002+08:00

YOYOYOYOOOOOO!!!! Ok its been a super long time since i last blogged....haha...and my blog has basically been. DEAD. hahha...so time to revive it abit...WAKEY WAKEY MR BLOGGY!!! well...it's hols now...the first half of hols was spent preparing and trusting God in my piano exam, then another week preparing to go back Malaysia for a very impt mission: reaching out to my grandma...you want to know the whole story come find me..HAHA. But it went well...God was there, i could feel Him as we went forward...super cool...so now is basically trusting that He'll fufill His promise to us...yupyup...and right now its slacking...cell stuff...more slacking...church stuff...and wow...God has been showing me amazing stuff...Lord grant me perseverance and TRUST in You....Oh Lord, teach me Your ways....

Well...school's starting soon...Lord...yes Lord, I will go and do as You say....grant me a greater sensitivity to Your voice...teach me how Lord, when it seems impossible...I wanna lift Your name on high... CHRISTIANS OUT THERE....THE HARVEST IS HERE!!!! ARE YOU DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT!?!???!? KEEP THAT FIRE BURNING FOR JESUS! :D

2008-02-03T20:49:00.000+08:00

okok its been a longggg time since i blogged. hahaha...so since people have acty been bugging me on my tagboard to blog, i shall blog....hahahaha...

Well, been choinging projects basically..but now its down to the last individual assignment and one more exam, so...WHEW! only one bad thing which is i have to study during chinese new year period...but, welly, only one exam, so not so bad:D Things spiritually have been good:) everytime i just feel so down..God lets me see....look! There they are! There's your spiritual family! You have so many bros and sisters in Christ! why do you choose to feel lonely? and then i start to look up...and i see...my best friend smiling at me...and i look around...so many ppl cheering me on..loving me for who I am...and not wad i can do or anything else...Oh Lord..i asked for one friend on this earth...you gave me a whole family..thank you Jesus:)

Lord...lemme learn how to practice the true meaning of forgiveness..lemme learn how to pray for those who have hurt me...lemme learn..how to have compassion for them...just as how You have for each and every single person on this earth..Lord...use my brokenness...to be a blessing to others...

Welly, havent really been feeling like blogging cos there acty have been alot of stuff happening..esp spiritually, which is really good, so much so that im started a daily journal! haha...on MS word...got inspiration from Mr Shawn Ling...haha..so basically everything's gonna go into that journal..and ppl which i wanna share it too will get to read part of it..muahah..so..i dunno..the end of my blog? maybe not...i still wanna use this as an inspiration...maybe i'll blog once in awhile..but for those whom I know..well, you guys know where and how to find and talk to me, so anything just ask mannn...and i'll be willing to share and give you advice if you need:) well well mr bloggy, to the next time i blog, byee byeeee :D

-------------JESUS LOVES YOU:)---------------

2008-01-04T21:50:00.000+08:00

This year's gonna be a crazy year...another year of hard work..But God promised His presence and His anointing...so I know its also gonna be a great year....have been learning more about the Holy Spirit through the book "Good Morning Holy Spirit" by Benny Hinn...great book...interesting stuff...how interesting? Started today im already half way through the book...cool stuff mannn...Oh God let Your fire consume Highlife...hear our cry...we need your touch...

Been going through craziness...confusion..hurt...just a deep sense of sadness...it hurts...after all this while...it can still hurt...youch..but then God picks me up...fills me with immense joy..i seriously feel like laughing...oh God...the JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH!!!:D how on earth can i continue to feel sad when my best friend cheers me up till im on top of the world? kindof impossible....listening to 'Majesty' by Planetshakers now...whoooo!!!!! wheee...okay im gonna go high soon:D Oh Lord lemme rise up to the next level...show me more of Your face...

That day after talking to Amy God gave me an interesting vision about closure. He showed me a man trying to put a glass looking box over something...and the scene keep repeating, only that the man was in different positions of the room with the glass box thingy. Then I sensed God say..Man tries to find closure on his own by he will never succeed cos he is trying to do it by his own strength. He thinks he has found closure when he manages to put the box over the situation...but he forgets that though he tries to capture it the situation is still exposed, just as the box is transparent, and sooner or later this situation will throw itself out of the box, and it will be worse than before. Then God showed me an envelope which He had closed with His own blood and had sealed it up. Then I sensed Him say...only when He granted closure would the matter be closed once and for all...only then will there be real closure...Lord teach me how to surrender everytime it hurts...grant closure over this whole situation when the time is right....
Hmm..i get all sorts of interesting pictures from God, may times during worship, and most of the time i cant figure out half of them...should start keeping a book for these pictures and visions...

Went to tighten braces today...haha orange colour braces! muahah....next time i wanna get purple:D dum dee dum...cell picnic tml! yayyayay i wanna get wet....exciting things gonna happen..its already happening in Highlife..GOD YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!! WHOOOO!!!!!!!! Hallelujah, to God be all glory:)

2008-01-01T18:11:00.001+08:00

Hmm..the new year's here...really intersting stuff the past few days...

I forgot to talk about the poly christmas party on 23rd Dec in my last post! It was seriously great...good experience for me:) really agree with Wee Kiat that God planted something in the sec 4s and 5s who came..was amazed at what happened after the worship and when the party had ended...ppl...sec 4s and 5s..mingling with the poly ppl, without anybody prompting them to, exchanging guit. skills..playing UNO stacko and just talking like everybody knows everybody (wait, now they really do!)...seriously good stuff....

Guess the next highlight would be last night..Watchnight...IT.WAS.AMAZING. seriously. Im not jut saying this cos im in Highlife...but seriously...wow...everytime i see Highlifers now...everytime we meet up and we start talking...I feel that i belong...no, im not turning to Highlife for a sense of security, but i believe that every christian needs to belong somewhere, somewhere that God will start to build that person up and strengthen that person through fellowships and friendships within that group. I guess its pretty clear to me where I belong in school (campus crusade) and in church (Highlife!) :) At least, i know that there are ppl who care, ppl who are genuinely interested in investing time in my life. Wow..

Anyway, ive sidetracked. muahaha.... Im glad that a few sec 4s and 5s made the effort to come..its honestly encouraging (hope you guys enjoyed yourself!):) GWEN YOU ROCK!!!! NEVER EVER EVER EVER doubt that God gave you gifts to flourish in:) Wow the video that you and Kelton did is, WOW! haaha...didnt Chye Aik even make special mention about it?;) The testimony part went ok.. i didnt break down and cry..all in God's strength...seriously, without His strength, i wouldnt have been able to say wad i said...THANK YOU JESUS!!! then sermon...good stuff..really good stuff...altar call was fantastic...felt God's anointing over me..God..teach me and train me up to serve well in Highlife...I wanna give you my all... two leaders prayed over me...went back and sat down in my seat, although I felt God tell me that He wasnt done with me yet...was just silent and looked around...and just like at camp i saw the Highlife family...people praying for others..ppl getting touched by God through others...ppl fellowshipping...wow..and then worship...haha..and then i was starting to tell myself that i must have heard wrongly since altar call was over so how could it be that God was not done with me? Then Tian Ying came up to me...hugged me...started to tell me stuff which..well, obviously comes from God since...HOW ON EARTH DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT THAT?!?! and yeah i started crying...and the song they were playing was Mighty to Save. Like haha, how much more apt can the song be??? God, your ways are seriously cool...always leaving me astounded as to how You could do something so amazing...Then Chye Aik announced the Highlife Vision 2008. The three Rs. COOL STUFF!! gets me all excited for 2008. Yay! A special thanks to Amy, Clara and Tian Ying for encouraging me yesterday:):):)

Just wanna take this time (or rather, space) to thank some ppl in 2007:
- Every single Highlifer would took me in as one of their own and was there for me in my first year in Highlife, esp: My cell (poly/ITE 1 rocks!), the Highlife leaders (you guys are amazing), CAMP COMM!! (as Darren likes to say, CAMPCOMM SHAKERS!!! maybe we should really start a band one day, haha!)
- Megalife ushers! (great time serving with you guys:) Continue to stay strong in God and remember to always serve with all you are for our Almighty Father:) will miss you guys though
:( )
- Campus Crusaders! (esp Constance, my DG mates, crusade leaders and, well, every crusader that I know, thank you for helping me to feel at home in sch:)
- My mummy:) Thank you mummy for being a great friend for the later part of the year:) continue to grow strong in God, always remember that He loves you and He has given you many spiritual gifts:):)
- Last but definately NOT least, in fact, the most impt person to thank:JESUS:):):) Thank you Jesus for guiding me through this year, though it was quite a tough year, You are always there for me, You are always guiding me, and You never ever fail to give me sweet suprises...continue to grow me this year God:) I wanna trust in Your will and Your promises:):):)

Welly, guess thats about it:) Happy new year everybody and well, guess this marks the start of yet another exciting year in God's ministry!! WHOO!!!!:D:D:D:D

2007-12-25T18:10:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!!!

Okie, so many things to blog about, but so little time!!! So, instead of doing projects, i shall blog now, MUAHAHA..:D Ok...I'll start with Inside Out camp (record no. of 75 campers!):

Friday:

After school choinged to Vivo (thanks dad for sending me, haha) and saw the dark angry clouds, met the familiar faces of camp comm and Highlifers, cheered up instantly:D Usual crazy camp comm nonsense, wad with Shawn trying to murder me with some sort of sword, lol!! Prayed against the dark angry clouds! whoo! Colour puzzle started. Crazy highlifers lugging lugguage all over Sentosa! Whoo! The rain held back! Yay! Colour puzzle was fun man. Back to camp site. Beach sub comm started to prepare beach games. We prayed against the stormy clouds again, looked super heavy. Started drizzling as we went down to prepare. But something inside of me told me that God will do something about it. Beach comm marched down to the beach in faith. Game started. Great fun! Chye Aik joined in! He was really sporting! interesting veggies flying in the air, fantasic forfeits...HIGHLIFERS CAN DO MUA ZI!!! WHOO!!! ( Btw Highlifers are from 17-20 plus in age)Highlifers, we rock! haha...THE SUN CAME OUT!!! Camp comm was stunned. In the end, God even put a sunset there!!! Beach comm started jumping around and praising God after games. haha...dunno who said.." God ate up the clouds!!" ..haha..so much for the "this is a lightning warning from 4:50pm to 5:15pm. Please stay out of the water. " before games started. really proves that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD:) After that was service. Then camp comm and leaders planned for Pilgrim's progress for next day. Realised location was NOT GOOD. Last minute decided to change location. Planned till everybody were like zombies. super funny!! Got some sleep:)

Saturday:

Workshop in Morn and early afternoon. Real good stuff man..to deal with the insides...Went with next beach comm to prepare games. Again sky looked super dark. Last minute changes: from playing inside to playing the ultra board game outside on beach and also other changes. A few heads cracking *crack crack* to think up of more stuff to fit new plans. Fun though, haha. Prayed against rain. Went down to the beach. Started to pour. Played at Emerald Pavillion. Rain was a blessing in disguise. Made highlifers run out in the rain and do the challenges. WOW.Never say Highlifers so enthu. Even the girls ran out and played. Everybody wet and happy. ahaha...all that kissing trees and burying ppl...SO FUNNN!!! " IM A PAPAYA TREE!!!" haha...God proved that His way is best..we say no rain is good. God tells us with heavy rain, its even better:) Went back, prepared for Pilgrims progress. Wow...was stationed along the trail to direct ppl. Had lots of time to pray and reflect. Cool...went through it in the end too..AWESOME...Personally the cross and the Hell station were the best...Really felt God's presence...Found out later some ppl cried at the stations, many were touched..God can still do miracles even though it was a last minute shift of trail as long as He's with us..:)

Sunday:
Workshops, prep for talent night, workshops. (good stuff man, learnt alot of new things from the workshops).Talent night was good, everybody really put in alot of effort in preparing. MC was super funny...hahahaha..AND THEN NIGHT SERVICE. AKA POWER SERVICE. WHoo!!! God's rain just fell...and fell..and POURED on the Highlifers. Amazing..ppl praying, ppl crying, etc etc...ppl falling...God's presence so strong...Fellowship going on...awesome time...Chye Aik prayed over me...that i will not hold back God's word that He puts in me...thats like super true..i dont mind sharing with cell members etc, comes to leaders im scared....I obeyed..started to pray for someone...God used me, a nobody, to touch someone else..amazing..God you never cease to amaze me...when i least expect it...:) Later i realised He was fufilling His promise to me before camp..."I have given you power in your hands..use that power...You have been given my authority..." that happened in the MRT..haha will explain one day about that when i have time..

Monday:
Testimony time..AMAZING. Super God-led. My goodness, right from the start to the end, God reveals Himself to us. But wad is shared i cannot say here, only the Highlife family knows:) Awards. Again God-led. Esp one of the prizes....super obvious its God and not us leading this whole camp..break camp. Everybody goes cam whoring. haha..fun fun.

In short, this camp was made possible because of one person: JESUS. Without Him and without His spirit on us, we wouldnt have carried out such a good camp. A super God-led camp. I pray that this will be the start of many many more God-led and crazy Highlife camps to come:) HIGHLIFERS YOU GUYS ROCK!!!:D:D:D

After camp is...projects! okie, nothing to say bout projects, lol. and preparing presents. I realised something...sometimes i feel lonely...but then as i prepare the presents i realise how many good frens i have and how many great friendships i gained this year (esp Highlifers!)..yay...and I realised...God blessed me so much with this ppl:)

And then Christmas! whoo...today was trying-to-catch-everybody-to-give-presents-day. haha...fun fun..great time with the polyers eating lunch together...Poor Wee Kiat.. the things we make him do...haha, cheer up Week Kiat! We polyers love you!:D youre a great cell leader! which makes you fun to bully..hee hee...;) What struck me this Christmas is...how many ppl acty know the true meaning of Christmas...its so twisted in the media these days..do ppl acty use it as an excuse to go high and be merry and get drunk? Its sad isnt it? Christians out there (including me), its time we spread the real meaning of Christmas to everybody...to spread the simple message of Good News that God gave this world 2007 years ago...My Christmas wish? That one day everybody will know who the real birthday boy is and the true meaning of Christmas:) Have a merry christmas ppl! God bless:)

---------END OF PROBABLY MY LONGEST BLOG POST EVER-----------------------

2007-12-09T09:53:00.001+08:00

Okie, im supposed to be doing projects, but...just felt that i needed to blog...so many things going on these few weeks...lemme focus in on this weekend...Friday...Youth Alive! Awesome time of worship...Megalife worship level serously increasing...i really pray and hope that it'll continue to go up and not fade away as time goes by...I guess it was'nt just as impactful on me as I wanted it to be...yes the atmosphere was there, yes i could feel God moving, but I just was'nt part of the whole thing...now i know I wasnt oversensitive a few months back..God really wants me to move on...It's painful..it's tough...but it just has to be done, I just hope that I can give my best in the year to come...Lord you deserve my very all and my very best...

then yesterday was Kor Kor Brendon's wedding! really great time...haha wanna find out more come ask me...besides that...projects and more projects, and HIGHLIFE INSIDE OUT CAMP IS COMING!!!!! wow....God, we know your presense will be with us...I pray that You take control of everything we do..let us run the final lap with confidence that our God is running beside us:) HIGLIFE CAMP COMMERS YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!:D:D:D

Security...so important to everybody..everyone tries to desperately and so hard to find it...yet...everybody finds it in the wrong places...but God taught me..that it is only when your security is in Him will you feel that peace...that strong peace and comfort that will never leave you...first I put my security in how i did in school...my grades mattered so much...God removed that completely...I dropped from being the top few in school in secondary 2 to having 39 points for my L1R5 in sec 4 prelims...yet God was merciful and when i put all my trust in Him...that was when He showed that He could move the mountains and gave me 14 points for L1R5 for Os..

then i turned to friendships...thought that they could provide me with the comfort i longed for and fill up that insecurity and change that low self esteem that i had...alas that really made me crash...a very heavy crash when i realised that..friends are jsut human beings..yes they are there to support and cheer you on...but only God understands you fully and lifts you up over your troubles when youre at your lowest point...Then when i surrendered friendships in God I realised that God was really changing and moulding me...changing me in a way that no one else could, removing my low self esteem....helping me to depend on Him and Him alone...

When friendships were gone...He showed me how i found security in what i did for Him...lemme get it clear here, theres no harm in serving God, but once you find security in HOW you serve and not WHO you serve, something is terribly wrong..and I guess i was starting to do that...and God came in and had to remove that false security too...and when all of that is gone...I look up, and realise that the answer to security is literally looking at me, and that there was no need to search furiously for answers...

This past year had been a really tough year for me..full of struggles and sorrow...yet I still wanna praise God for putting me through this..cos this only shows that He loves me so much to wanna correct my ways and is training me up for my future calling... I pray that if you read this post...remember that your security..only when placed in Him and Him alone...will make your life feel complete...if you know me then feel free to talk...i'll be there to listen:)

2007-11-21T22:40:00.000+08:00

hmm..lots of things have been happening in my life..makes things really interesting...abit crazy sometimes...but..all these experiences that i go through...i know that God will use it to grow me as a person...to change me from the inside out..

Decisions decisions....so agonising...God please help me make the right choice that will enable me to fullfill my potential and where i will be able to find JOY and Your PEACE....God...teach me Your ways...i wanna run after You and stay strong in whatever You've called me to do...God..You know wads going on in diff relationships and friendships in my life rite now..all I ask is that Your will be done, cos i know that Your will is best for me...help me to press on and perservere...in a God who can do the imposssible..use this hands Lord...use these hands to make a difference...use these hands to testify that indeed, You ARE the one and only way of redemption and salvation...help me stay strong in You...I love You Jesus... :)

My braces glue came out! Humph, thats wad you get for eating 6 chicken wings...ahaha..mum's chicken wings are the best...cant help it..welly, appointment's on Friday so not so bad, haha..I went night cycling last friday with crusaders! Rocks mannn...seriously had a whole lot of fun...good food, good fellowship...good exercise...good laughter...really made my week...mann...hope i can go night cycling more often...haha...super fun man! Welly well...should get on with projects...at least this week's e-learning week, more time for projects and other stuff..till next time...happy mugging to the uni-ers and happy projecting to the polyers and happy having a good time to the done-wif-O-level-ers and other primary and secondary sch-lers, ahahaa.... :D

2007-11-12T21:54:00.000+08:00

dum dee dum...welly, heres the update that some ppl have been waiting for...aha..seriously i have been lazy to blog...so i just left my blog alone for one month...after all very few ppl read it...so wads the point of blogging? haha...an update..of my life...

welly, the past month had been downhill...all the way till last week when i settled some stuff with God and everything..and...wow..the peace of God just came over me and suddenly..i see things in a different light...suddenly im not mad so much anymore...suddenly i have no reason to be mad or emo or feel down cos theres just the peace of God to be grateful for and that's really all i care about right now...exciting stuff happening in HL camp comm...CAMP COMMERS YOU GUYS ROCK!!! WHOO!!!! hahahhaa....we really know how to go crazy...CRUSADERS ROCK TOO!!!! discipleship is seriously awesome...its so amazing how...God can use someone like me...to actually touch and change lives...its jst really..amazing..and it proves that, its God working through me, i didnt do anything, its God! Oh God...thank you...for wad youve done in my life so far..thank you for all the different ones youve placed in my life to disciple me, and also all those that youve placed there for me to lead and to guide spiritually...God..continue to use my life Lord...I WILL GO:)

2007-10-16T22:09:00.000+08:00

I found my hiding place in school...the crusade room...that place rocks, its the only place that i can be my true self without being critcised or smirked at...thank you Jesus for crusaders...dunno wad i'll do without them...and that room where i can run to You so freely..am i really a last minute person? No. I'm not. there's a reason why im so last minute sometimes. It shows that i dont wanna complete that task cos i dread it and i have doubts on doing it, not because im usually a last minute person cos im very sure that im not. Sometimes ppl need to ask WHY. im learning that to. Theres a reason for every action, every behaviour, in my opinion. So instead of jumping into conclusions and labelling a person lets help that person out by remembering that there is an underlying reason for that action and it is usually not what we think it means....God...help me to find that JOY in You..cos God, i think its gonna be a tough term in terms of relationships in ECH....I need You Jesus..

2007-10-13T11:05:00.000+08:00

Interesting. How God works in super interesting ways. Wow. All i can say is..thank you Daddy...I love you :) Oh for those who are wondering wad decision i made bout my piano...got my Daddy in Heaven's advice an..yeah im sticking to piano...yupyup...striving on...which reminds me i better go practice..yupyup...service later! disciplsehip later! God...please grant me wisdom...In Jesus' name i pray Amen:):):)

2007-10-10T14:10:00.001+08:00

The pros and cons of quitting piano today:

Pros:
-no more nagging from ppl bout practising
-no more feeling insecure bout my short fingers and under-fleshy tips of my fingers cos they are highly irritating in grade 8
-time saved, used to play worship songs instead (whoo!)
-no more feeling like a failure in this area since im not striving to do well and beat others etc....nvm..shant say it here
-no more worrying bout having to pass grade 8 since im not allowed to take it again if i fail
-no more dwelling in the fact that i STINK at piano as according to some ppl
-no need to wear a skirt or dress for exam!!! (okay thats a stupid pro)
-save money (alot of money leh..)

Cons:
-I might regret this decsision someday
-my final grade to take leh....
-i really love piano....i think...at least i love the partwhere i bang the piano with praises unto God...but quitting wont affect that unless my piano is taken away..quite impossible since my bro also plays it for fun sometimes
-getting nagging from others for making wad seems like a stupid decision
- might affect if i ever wanna teach piano next time
-might acty make my self-esteem worse if i see this as a 'failure' in life

As can see, there are more pros than cons here...lol...should i quit? i really cannot stand wad im going through already..prob everybody will say its stupid to even think of quitting now since im at my last grade...erm, hello, wait till youre in my position then tell me whether you feel like quitting.....but then again, my pros are mainly stuff that i wanna run away from...this reminds me of badminton....almost the same kind of reasons that made me quit sch team....but then i didnt suffer much after that...and i guess cos God really did ask me to quit...so..thats that..God..should i? quit? theres a time not to and a time to quit...you said it yourself..is this the time to quit? or should i press on like everybody's telling me since its the more sensible choice? decisions decisions...i dont wanna make the wrong decision again...help me God...i need to hear from You first...lead me to the right answer God...in Jesus name i pray, amen.

2007-10-09T22:23:00.000+08:00

Why. Why is it that the pain just comes and keeps on trashing me about..reminding me of the past..why...everytime...every week i just have to be reminded of something..of something so precious that i used to have...yet...why...God...help me..i dont know how long more i can go on like that...im trying..so desperately..to find friends..yet no matter how hard i try...what i try seems to fail..why....of all things...i struggle wif relationships..the most important thing that i think life's about..relationships...Made for a relationship with You...made for friendships with others...born out of a relationship...just like what pastor said...isit that wad life's about? relationships? isnt that the calling You gave me? to lead ppl towards a relationship wif You? Then..why? God....i hate my attitude..i hate t when im insecure and oversensitive and that i get upset so easily..i hate the fact that...i seem to be a failure at relationships...but God...only one thing matters...as long as our relationship is secure, i know that I have nothing to worry God...my security lies in You...I never wanna forget that...place that truth deep in my heart God...my security is in You....no matter what others say...Jesus, You'll always be my best friend...I need You so much...Jesus fill up that emptyness in me that seems so overbearing sometimes...I love You Daddy :)

2007-10-07T21:38:00.001+08:00

I cannot believe myself...i can't even trust myself...why must i have to be such a crummy friend?!?!??! God..im sorry:(

2007-10-05T22:09:00.000+08:00

THIS SONG IS SPECIALLY DEDICATED TO 1A02:

Don't Cry Child
Verse 1
See that cross,
See that cross on Calvary,
See that cross,
My blood shed for your sin.
See that cross,
Come and meet with me,
See that cross,
I long to to be with you.

Verse 2
Take my hand
I'll walk with you each day
Take my hand,
pierced for you dear child

Chorus
Child don't cry,
I know your hurt and pain
Child dont cry,
I'll never let you go
Child dont cry,
they've done the same to me
Child dont cry
I LOVE YOU.

I composed this song specially for 1A02 and whoever else who might be feeling down rite now...This is what I felt Jesus wanted to say to all of you guys...that He understands your hurt...and He wants to walk with you through everything you go through...so today I ask you...will you let Him hold your hand? :)

2007-10-05T14:38:00.001+08:00

Dum dee dum dum....bored here...or more like, dont wanna do the stuff i have to do..hee hee...will do them later....so i shall be random now...my water babies died:( quite a long time ago acty...haha, i needa ask my little couz for more:D but we stay very far apart..boo hoo...why must all my cousins stay so far away? Either they're in Bukit Timah or in Malaysia...sigh.. Brendon Kor Kor is getting married soon! yay....happy for him...maybe can add a few more to my 'grandcousins' list..hahaha....but wedding dinner= dress up and I DONT WANNA DRESS UP!!! Im very happy in jeans and polo thank you very much..hahahaha..my mum will just kill me if i went to his dinner liddat...dum dee dum...i miss soccer..anybody wanna play soccer???? Hols ending soon...didnt really have time to exercise this hols..didnt play badminton..nobody to play soccer with...or rather, no girls to play soccer with...T.U.T camp was good..did i mention that? hah i think i did...Yay..my mum agreed to watch Underdog with meee...yayyy..i wonder whether its still showing..haha...you know, ppl should really watch wad they say sometimes, including myself..haha...ok, lemme make it clear here the diff between childish and childlike...childish is teenagers trying to act like kids and failing and acting stupid in the process, childlike is the child in you wanting to express itself and there is nothing stupid bout it..so lets say i like stuff toys ( which i really do) ..that doesnt make me childish...its cos i really like it and the 'child' in me is expressing this desire...BUT lets say i act cute to get attention, now that is being childish cos we know that if a child is cute then he would get attention and hence we subconciously do the same with the motive to gain attention...but if we are cute cos we are naturally 'cute' in that sense and have no intention of gaining attention then that is of course being childlike...btw this is not coming from me, this is coming from wad i learnt in early childhood..hhahahaa....ok im starting to rant here..dum dee dum...WORSHIP XPERIENCE TML!!!! whoo...gonna be an awesome time...not too sure how ushering will go..God i surrender everything thats gonna happen during ushering tml...God..You take control..i think Megalife's breaking into a new level...so cool...dum dee dum dum...ok my room's in a big big mess..better start clearing...Our God Reigns by Delirious keeps on playing in my mind...God You Reign...and I pray that You'll reign in tml's worship experience...cos as long as Your presence is with us..I know there's gonna be a brekthrough..Our God reigns...i love you Daddy:)

2007-10-04T19:50:00.000+08:00

Back from T.U.T camp! hahaha...it was really fun...and i got to know the other crusaders so muc better...real cool...I guess the best thing bout the camp was that we played underground church and...just a lot of stuff brought out and you could really see fellowship and unity after the whole thing...I mean, i played similar kinds of games before where they would 'torture' you but yet i learnt something..God spoke into my heart, abt how real this could be when i started my calling...and i guess this kindof freak me out at frst..i mean, imagine the fear that you would be living in constantly...its crazy..but...after talking it through wif others and just dwelling in His presence...I know that my God is not a God of fear..My God will always be right beside me, no matter wad i go through..and no matter wad happens, I wanna delare that He is still my Lord, my Saviour...God..please give me that strength and courage to stand up and be strong, cos im not only standing up for my faith, im standing up for You, my best friend....and..God I love You...and the song More Than Life..by United Live..just kept ringing through my head..." I love You..more than Life".. more than life itself...not so much of more than facing death, for that is quick, but more than facing torture upon torture...and God, I just pray..just one thing that I ask for, that I will remain strong and will not deny You..cos I know if I do, that relationship will be cut off forever...Oh God..Jesus...I love You...so so much...God You were amazng during camp, just so amazing..Rain down God....Rain down...I love You Daddy:)

2007-09-23T21:20:00.001+08:00

The past week has been interesting...had several conversations that made me think real hard...and prayer meeting on friday was really good..the best Megalife's had so far....at least i think it is...got intersting pictures...sometimes i really dont feel like sharing these pictures...cos it like something between God and I and its like this special connection i feel between us....a Father and daughter thing...but then again i know that my pictures might actually encourage someone so i'll just share one or two here..one is something God gave me either at prayer meeting or sometime earlier this week..i forgot already..about a nice looking big tree wif green leaves and everything, but the leaves were falling...and i just felt that those were backsliding christians...and God told me...in order to reach out to them, we had to grow the roots deeper...and what made me remember this vision was yesterday when Pastor Joyce said she saw a picture about a healthy looking tree wif green leaves and everything, only that the roots were very short...and that picture she saw..she told us that she felt that it was for magalife ministry...and i couldnt agree more...its time for us to grow deep, just as she said....

Then theres the nice nice picture i had at prayer meeting also...haha i was walking down the beach wif Jesus, only tat we were carrying chinese lanterns... I must explain why this is nice..its cos ive been wanting to go lantern carrying this month just for fun but didnt have the guts to go wif anyone cos for a 17 ear old its considered childish:( and i guess God understood and gave me this picture...and we starting running...and chasing each other...and it was so fun, just me and Him in the middle of the night....and then after awhile we sat down and I saw a ship wif twinkling lights and all on the sea and I asked God what that was and He said...those were the lost at sea...and i asked Him..but they look so happy..all the twinkling lights and everything...and He said something like....they don't know what they are heading for...they are standing on false ground...and i just got upset...God...increase my the compassion for the lost...I love you Daddy:)

2007-09-16T22:12:00.000+08:00

I sat at the dressing table in front of me. Jesus was behind me, combing my hair. After awhile He started to braid my hair...at times He would look up and smile at me...I caught Him smiling at me in the mirror, and laughed and smiled back...He told me something like this: "Unity is important...those frail strands of hair, when entwined with the stonger ones, they become stronger...If those frail strands arent pulled back into a braid with the rest of the strands..it would defeat the whole purpose of one braiding the hair, which is to keep the hair out of her face..." and I got reminded of the verse..Ecclesiastes 4:12 " ...A cord of three strands is not easily broken." And then, finally God tied a ribbon at the end of the braid. Then I saw a crown in His hand and He put it on my head and said, " Now it is complete". And i just got reminded...I am God's princess...God's child...and He loves me so much..

I saw this vision during EA worship....it really refreshed me...Oh God..through it all, You are still there...thank you:)

2007-09-15T10:41:00.000+08:00

RAIN DOWN!!!!!! WHOOO!!! I feel God's gonna do something awesome in Highlife x!change tonight....it's gonna rain down...on the dry dry desert that has been dry too long....I believe, with all my heart, that God's gonna send revival tonight in the midst of us, and I wanna be part of it...Oh God..tonight...move amongst us..I pray that You will move so strongly that lives, both lost and found, will be touched so so mightily by Your very own hand...We need You Lord, We need You desperately....so Lord I pray..Come and do a great work in each and everyone of us tonight..God, I thank You in advance, on the behalf of everybody, on that revival You're gonna send tonight...Rain down...won't You rain down oh God:)

Ant attack! Oh man, the ants seem to have invaded our house, esp the dining area...ants everywhere..and some even look different...creepy...at least its not the bee attack like one time...suddenly there were bees everywhere in the house at night...now that was way creepier..haha..God, please remove the ants, in Jesus' name i pray, amen! :D

2007-09-11T20:21:00.000+08:00

I realised today that i'm a very very lucky person really. So I dont actually have any reason to feel all 'emo' and everything. I have two parents who are happily married, I even have a brother, I have food, shelter, I have most importantly, Jesus as a best friend, i have good friends who I can talk too, and I have God's grace in my life. Conclusion: I should really learn how to count my blessings:) Thank you Jesus, for all You have given me:)

2007-09-09T22:09:00.000+08:00

Hmm, I never knew that my imagination could be so useful:D As in, I know God uses it and constantly puts pictures in my mind to tell me stuff, but I never knew it could be used for storyboarding in videoing, haha. Cool. God, thank you..for showing me today...that I do have at least one talent..my imagination. And God..You told me to use it wisely and You'll expand it greatly..God I pray that You will help me use this talent to the best of my ability and serve You in this way...Oh God...I love Your hugs..thank you:):):)

2007-09-08T22:21:00.000+08:00

God, i refuse to continue being emo...cos Your joy is my strength..but God its tough..I try so hard to put on that smile...tell myself..theres nothing to feel hurt about, just laugh it off..God will give me strength..and yes, it does work...but at the end of the day, when no one can see me...all the pain surrounds me..hits me from all around..makes me feel...worthless. And then i ask myself..am I really who people think I am? A tiny nobody that always makes mistakes and cannot get anything right? Perhaps. I am, but God isnt. And I know that if God can use a donkey, He can use me. Thats why He created me the way I am. Different. Weird in some people's eyes perhaps. But God told me Himself...why I am who I am...why im not very attractive at all, why im not that smart, why im only 151cm and poeple forever mistake me for at least two years younger, why im tiny and scrawny, why I look like someone that can be bullied and stepped on, someone that is not capable of accomplishing much. God created me in this way. And I am happy the way I am, cos He created me this way for a reason, a purpose. And that purpose is to show the world that HE is the one that will give me strength. He wants the world to know the we need Him, we need to start depending on Him. You see, if God created me quite attractive..good brains...well built..confident-looking..then, if I did something...wouldnt the world think that I am the one who is so sucessful? The world would see the sucess that I have as Sarah's sucess, and not view it as God's grace in my life. But now, if I actually do something great...It would obviously be God who's the one doing something great since I look so helpless right? I believe that God wants to show the world through me that He can use nobodies to be somebodies. And God, as we walk together, step by step, and as I hold Your loving hand, I pray that I will be able to fullfill this special purpose that You have for me..to be a living testimony that all the glory goes up to you, for without You, Lord I am nothing:)

That day during qt God made me realise something...every christian is a special unique key that can open something. Without different people, many lives will be lost. I pray God, that You will use me to unlock the cages that different people are trapped in..so that they might know your freedom:):) Jesus.....You were so amazing today...You promised me that You will do something today..and You did..amazing God, truly amazing..thank you God...for that warm embrace that will never let me go..I love you Daddy:)

2007-09-07T17:16:00.000+08:00

I dont understand why I always seem to get blamed for everything. Its getting irritating. Oh welly, i guess tats just life. Seriously, I really feel like a born loser. And im getting emo. I ALMOST CRIED WATCHING SPONGEBOB!!!! How emo can I get. Why? cos Plankton said something like: " All I ever wanted was friendship". Sigh. I hate feeling emo. Its not healthy. So i keep praying..God..take all the pain away...take it away...and once one is taken away another one comes...and it just strikes me. Then I go banging the piano...Sorry bro..know im really irritating today cos i keep banging the piano. Then it seems to work and then the pain comes back cos something else happens...God...how long more? When you meant "alot of suffering"...is it gonna get ten times worse? God...whatever i have to go through...lemme remember that I musnt give up..cos I know tat Youre with me:) I love you Daddy:)

2007-09-06T00:20:00.000+08:00

Well. Today was interesting...some stuff happened which are too personal to say here.. more or less relaxed the whole day.. God said He's gonna meet with me tonight. I shant keep Him waiting:)

2007-09-03T23:29:00.000+08:00

Went back to Malaysia. Had the greatest time there. Surrounded by cousins and relatives. I actually feel so loved by others besides God. Guess thats the best thing about going back to Malaysia. Feeling so loved by others besides your own immediate family. Why? cos most of my cousins i play with are much younger than me. And God showed me one cousin in particular that he wanted me to love and guide. Interesting. How my perspectived changed about her after i got into early chidlhood. God i'll do it. She needs your love. She needs comfort. All I see now is a lost and confused child who need extra guidance. I've suddenly become so attached to her. Really interesting. God..thank you for putting me through that test...thank you for reminding me who sits on the throne of my life...You are sitting there God, and i know, as long as you're not disappointed with me, although i may seem to have disappointed so many ppl, i know that Sarah is not= disappointment. Let Your will be done God. Tml....gonna be interesting...in You we trust..show us what to do God..Whatever happens, as long as You are in our midst, I know that the outing will be a sucess...give us confidence Lord...I love you so much Daddy...and I dont wanna disappoint You:)

2007-08-28T23:09:00.000+08:00

Ask me how I feel! Lemme tell you how i feel. I feel rotton. Fullstop. Day seemed to be goin well...almost like a dream...then...things happen. People get fustrated at me...wait, when are people not fustrated by me anyway? I get fustrated with myself. Things just happen. I feel like the whole world is telling me this: Sarah=born loser+disappointment+useless. FINE!!! Then so be it!!! Think it that way!!!! I AM NOT!!!! I KNOW I AM NOT!!!! COS JESUS SAYS SO!!! HE SEES SOMETHING IN ME THAT NO ONE ELSE IN THIS WHOLE WORLD SEES!!!! HE SEE HOPE!!!!! But...what can i say if people dont believe. About people being stuck up. PLEASE. Im not refering to anyone here. But. Sometimes, people like me seem stuck up cos we are too afraid to be your friends. We feel that we are worthless. We've given up on friendship cos no one seems to wanna accept us. We dont think that you would too. We seem stuck up, but...ever wondered why? Put yourself in our shoes. Do you feel the pain? Do you, who are surrounded by so many friends and always have friends there for you, feel the pain??? I guess...if youve never ever gone through friendship failures all your life, you wouldnt understand. Let's change our perspective today shall we? At least..I know the Jesus..will always be my best friend...Thank you for showing me your face that day Jesus:)

2007-08-26T21:26:00.000+08:00

I thought that the pain went away for good...i was wrong..it comes back..over. and over. and over again. Just hurts so bad. Perspective. I dont wanna blame anyone here but ive heard over and over and over again..people gossipping about others..Shes so ugly...What a stuck-up..that guy...what a nerd..WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!! Its time to change our perspectives. I dont wanna be a nag, but isnt it something that we all need to change? I admit that sometimes i start making judgements about others in my head...then when I think about it i'll try to change my perspective, to look at the person as how i think Jesus would look at the person. With love. Society is so cruel...just like what Ernie mentioned in sermon a few weeks ago. When will people open their eyes and view others as people just like them? Or..could it be that these people that make judgements about others are already so hurt by other people that they use this as a defense wall so that they can comfort themselves that they are superior to others? God...open their eyes..show them this is not the way to go...we behave like animals sometimes...Show them that...you love them despite of how others view them...you love every single fibre of their being..cos You created them...Flood Your love over them Lord...they need you desperately...

2007-08-25T12:03:00.000+08:00

Prayer meeting was awesome last night:D Strength was renewed...thank you for using me just as i asked Jesus:D Today's gonna be another awesome day....God....guide me...help me along..I know that with You, everything will go smoothly...please help everything to go according to Your will Lord...Come and touch us...come and touch the ushers today...full team today! So happy...Lead us as we serve You...move in our midst God...We are nothing without You:)

2007-08-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

I got hit with a very simple realisation today. The harder I try to talk to others about stuff, the more disconnected i feel from them. From the world. It's a strange feeling. Like the world is together and I am this person here..trying to intrude in and try to get someone's attention. And they give it to me for a little while. Then they turn back and start talking to one another again. and I'm left outside this circle. Just like an alien. Then i remember what Jeanette said to me during an altar call...she said something like...when people treat you like an alien...remember..you belong to Jesus...you are not of this world....and I realise...im turning to the wrong people...Jesus is right in front of me...sure i talk to Him bout my probs and all..seriously i tell Him probably almost everything thats going on...then today I realised...dont just talk and listen to Him...allow Him to embrace you so that you a secured..so secured in His love...Lord I look to you...."I'll always be there for you" is really really a cliche....hands up who has gotten hurt by this statement? I have. Lots of times. Countless times. I stopped believing in it. Well, that is, when friends say it. The closer the friend is, the more pain I feel....cos i know, that's just temporary comfort....a false secure base i would call it...BUT...when God says it...now thats different...when He says that...it feels me with that joy...that indescriptive joy...cos the only person that will ever be able to keep that promise, is Jesus Himself. He's already done it. Been there for us in our darkest moments. The nail-pierced hands are proof. Thank you Jesus:)

2007-08-21T21:07:00.000+08:00

Was bored, so i decided to do some blog surfing...went over to Cindy's blog and found this video:
http://livedigital.com/AFOd2gAjNw/content/52110 ...its really touching...how touching? well i cried..but then again I cry quite easily when it comes to this kind of stuff..Oh God...oh God...here i am, complaining and being concerned over how the world looks at me and....the kids in the video...they're so so desperate for You..all they wanna do is to seek You with all their heart and soul...i feel so ashamed of myself..Oh God...use me oh God...remove the lies of the devil...I dont care what the world thinks of me, I dont care how much they laugh behind my back, I dont care if society doesnt accept me..cos God, I belong to You and as long as I know that You accept me...my heart is content oh Lord...Lord...I will go Lord...just as You asked me to and just as I promised You...I will go to Africa...cos I know You wanna use me there...no matter how impossible it sounds now...no matter how many times people raise their eyebrows and look at me with that scorn on their faces..disbelieving...Are you sure? Africa? You? Are you sure thats your calling? it sounds so...storybookish...How about reaching out to your classmates? God'll be pleased with you..i mean, come on, you're..small..you look so...weak..are you sure you heard God right? I SPIT AT YOU IN YOUR FACE DEVIL!!!! all the lies...all the disbelief...havent you heard? Galatians 5:9- "A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough". HAH. SO THERE. Oh God...in Your time..open the windows of opportunity to go forth..As long as You believe that I can do it and Your presence goes with me, I know nothing can stop me. Jesus...take me deeper..so much deeper..

Well, freedom has come, exams are over and hols are about one month 3 weeks. I really wanna use these hols to grow deeper in Him...besides all the stuff im busy with, that is...Ushering...Highlife...RCS..perhaps helping out some days at the church office..camps.. going back to Malaysia (prepare me Jesus) ...You know when i tell ppl what im doing for my hols...i get the impression that they think: BORING. Well, to me it really isnt, God is my joy, and as long as im doing stuff for Him, im really very happy. Until you really have a relationship with Him, you probably would think that some Christians are possessed to be doing such things in their hols... We're not, really...we're just loving our King..WHOO!!! JESUS YOU ROCK!! :D:D:D

haha, went to visit Jem today...poor guy..ended up in hospital....Cord and I went to visit him...super funny...brought him interesting entertainment..hahah...Get well soon Jem! hahaha...Ushers' outing is gonna rock! Whoo! Lord please give us wisdom as we plan for this.... In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen:)

2007-08-18T10:20:00.000+08:00

Last night i had very interesting dreams...but the one that stood up most in my mind was...wow..before I narrate my dream im gonna use 'x' for one person, just using caution here...my dream went something like this: i was in the worship centre of our church and on the bottom right section was where all the Highlifers sat...and God told me to pray for every single person in that section...someh0w in my dream i remember that they werent actually Highlifers..i forgot what group that was...so i called them up one by one and asked them to come forward so i could pray for them..and God had promised that He would fill them up as I prayed for them..as I prayed they started to fall under the power of God..every single one..and then..it came to 'x's turn...and I started crying as i pray for 'x'...and i told 'x'..dont resist..and then..suddenly JESUS was walking down the steps..and He took 'x' and left..then a few moments later 'x' came back...'x' was changed...i wont say how 'x' changed...it'll be a bit obvious then...then I woke up...and...i start to think..i dont want 'x' to change in that way..I honestly don't...i love 'x' the way 'x' is...then I started to realise..if 'x' changed...would 'x' like me back as a friend? Perhaps. Possibly. Quite likely. Oh God...I pray that You'll change 'x' on the inside...deal with 'x' God...stir up something within 'x'...but please oh God, dont change 'x' in the way that happened in my dream..stir it up in 'x' Lord...'x' needs you really really badly... In Jesus' Name i pray, Amen:)

2007-08-18T00:29:00.000+08:00

I don't understand why I feel so 'emo' these few months..more than i ever had in my whole life..or maybe i do..maybe its a combination of hormones and low self esteem and failing friendships and stress and brokeness all mixed into one...to make me all emo and stuff...hate feeling emo..i teared while watching Disney's 'Tarzan' today..thats how emo i can get..and more..hah..maybe its cos i can relate with Tarzan..hows it like to be laughed at and feel so different from everyone else....at least he had a happy ending..i know i will one day too, i know that my happy ending is sitting on the right hand of Jesus in Heaven...next to the One that's gonna help me through this confusing stage of 'emo-ness'..why do i know that? cos its written in the bible of course..John 3:16..what's more the happy ending that i just described is in fact a vision that a friend once saw for me..of course she also mentioned about what i have to go through first..and that's the part that is making me more emo than ever..but you know what? i'll do it for Jesus, my Lord and my Saviour...why? simply cos i love Him...cos He first loved me..its as simple as that..that sweet unconditional love..oh God...You understand me..you know me best...You are always there for me..no matter what..You are never too busy for me..oh God...thank you..Thank you that I have You to turn to..when no one else cares..when everyone else is busy...at least You care to stretch out Your hand towards mine and lovingly call my name..lifting me up above my circumstances...Oh God...how can i ever thank you enough? and thats why..God..no matter what I have to go through..Lord please let me stand firm, to the promise that i have made to You: that no matter what happens, no matter how many hardships I go through..no matter how many times i get bashed down and hurt by others..Lord i choose to serve You all my life...my entire life to eternity...cos i love You..my beautiful Saviour...you are awesome God...You are just so awesome.. I love you Jesus:) *hugs*

2007-08-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

Just came back from cell dinner, haha! Tml's exam day...i started 'freaking out' on the way home...then..God started to speak to me...and He kept asking me: " Do you feel my hand upon you?" and i kept saying no, and suddenly He just started to speak to me about my fears..my worries bout the whole exam..and even now..i just feel a certain warmth within me...as though He placed this cloak around me that ensures me that He is in control..that no matter what happens, its gonna go His way and not mine..oh God...oh God..i need You..i need to learn how to trust in You completely..show me how to God..you know what? i seriously dont understand how i lived without having a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus in the past...cos if i tried to sort things out in my own mind by myself, i think i'll just go crazy and all since i tend to think alot..well God, my exams are in Your hands, i promise to try my very best not to worry at all..in You I trust:)

Today i finally understood one of the object lessons that God was trying to teach me a few weeks back..He made me look out of the window and ask me what i saw...and i saw house among some trees..and i was trying to figure out what He was trying to teach me...and today it just hit me like that while i was trying to take a nap: my calling! it had to do with my calling and it just made so much sense...if you had read one of my first few posts of this blog then maybe you might understand...its about Africa..and what God told me today was that..in Africa, im gonna stand out like a sore thumb..a city person living among the villagers..and what i sensed Him say was that..be wary of how you treat them..you are like an intruder to them, and it is not their fault to treat you suspiciously since you dont seem to have any right to be in that place..but as long as you show them what you have to offer to them, that is, my love, then you'll be able to take in the people there who are such in need of a Saviour's love, just like a house that gives shelter to people...and it just clicked in me...Jesus..prepare me..a few days ago God told me that He was gonna send me into today's Eygpt...and immediately I thought of how Moses led the Isrealites out of Eygpt..God, please open my eyes to where you want to send me..open up opportunities for me to take a step closer to my calling..I can see and i know that You're already preparing me..ever since i told you that i was ready to accept my calling..and God..please continue to mould and shape me into the vessel that You can use so mightily...cos I wanna spread that Saviour's love to the nations...Jesus, my life is Yours ... :)

2007-08-13T00:43:00.001+08:00

Im gonna put down every random thing that comes to my mind...

Tian Ying just told me something that encouraged me alot....Jesus help me stay strong when I feel that no one else cares...Cos i know You care...On Friday night I dreamt the best dream in a long time... that the two most important relationships in my life that are seriously not okay were just solved..poof..just like that...then i woke up and reality hit me hard again...ouch..God i need you...in Your timing..To all the uni ppl who are starting school tml...or rather today...go out there and shine for Jesus... :) Lord, bless Cindy...you know how much she needs you...You know how much she's going through now...Cindy if you ever read my blog...remember that Jesus is your beautiful saviour k?:) Camp Comm rocks! Whoohoo! :) Love all of you guys and i really mean it:) Camp comm unite! :D I realised today that I still have an issue on low self-esteem...i thot it was solved when I let Jesus deal with the main root of my low self-esteem....that part's taken care of..that im sure...but i realise that there's still some 'sub roots' so called that works together to give life the that WEED called low self esteem. Maybe its cos of my looks..maybe cos of my size..maybe its cos i feel inadequate and all so many times..God help me break free from the lies that the devil has tried to put in my head...help your love that lies in my heart conquer the lies that my mind holds...God i need You....Sentosa's cool..recce was good today...think maybe we can go an even deeper step in fellowship...camp commers really an awesome bunch...tml's back to studying...mugging..mugging..mugging....God help me to sacrifice some time for You in doing QT and just spending time worshipping you...tml's a good day..no ones home in the morning...bang piano time!:D i love my family...I love you Daniel...even though i know you prob dont read my blog and all...one day ive gotta say that face to face to you...you need to know that the stranger that lived in the same house as you for more than 15 years now actually wants to talk to you and be your friend...but is too afraid to...God what i wanna say next only You will ever know...cos i wont say it here...i cant..ppl will start figuring things out and start figuring it out wrongly..God im crying out...oh God...help me to trust in what You promised me..grant me patience oh God..cos now it just seems like an absolute dead end...oh Jesus...only You can make it possible..i said and did some stupid things today..God please forgive me..I'm sorry..i try too hard..its time to spend time wth You...im sorry i kept You waiting the whole day:( I love you Jesus...only You will ever satisfy my soul...

2007-08-11T21:15:00.000+08:00

Oh God...You are awesome, You just are....Thanks Glads, what you said really encouraged me:):):) God, I know that everywhere I go..as long as ppl dont understand..there's gonna be that fine line between me and them..Lord today I pray that You open their eyes...to see why i seem so different from them..and more improtantly, to see that they cant live without You..Went so high cos of Glad's email yesterday..haha, unfortunately everyone was too busy to go high with me...so..oh welly, i'll go high with Jesus! yay:D Joachim spoke about trust during service today...God, help me trust in You...you know my problems that i face...you know how i struggle so many times to let it all go into Your hands... Oh God...correct my ways...teach me to trust in You and You alone...

" Sarah, the time is NOW" i dont know why but this week especially God has been telling me that...and today He told me that the enemies are coming...and I turned around...and i saw...so many..coming..charging towards me..and I was alone...one person..no! wait! beside me stood Jesus...And I was wearing the armour...the armour of the Most High King..and my sword in hand...and I know...as long as Jesus is with me...I have nothing to fear...my enemies might attack..but i know..and i just know..that with the most High King on my side...I will win this battle..cos God is in control...Jesus help me stand stong in You...I love You Jesus... :) Lord...You are amazing and true to Your word...welcome to the family to those who gave their lives to Jesus today at Megalife service!:D:D:D

2007-08-09T23:42:00.001+08:00

Happy National Day! haha, i discovered that my blog is more than a year old...woah... anyway...study, project, study somemore, do project somemore, yeah, that has been my typical lifestyle for the past few days, after tml morn its gonna be study, study some more, study even more...oh welly, at least i'm studying something that i like:):):) God has been teaching me lessons through other ppl these few days...teaching me how to control my temper, teaching me how to deal with certain situatons...so God, thank you for projects, haha:D I've got lots to learn man...Jesus...you know i still struggle in that area of trying to love people unconditionally just as you loved me...Lord...let Your love flow from in me into my friends' lives...they need You so much God...Lord, give me wisdom...

HIGHLIFERS!!!! Get ready! This year's camp's gonna rock!! Whoo!! Mark your calenders!!! 14th-17th Dec! And if you're a megalifer reading this and you're sec 4 or 5 planning to go poly, you're invited to join us too! yay! God...guide us as we plan this camp:) Let Your presence rain down on us...give us wisdom to plan this camp Lord....Love You Jesus:)

That day God told me to read Titus and this verse jumped out and shook me: "These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you." Titus 2:15 .Help me to stand up and be strong Dad... thank you :)

2007-08-07T01:28:00.000+08:00

Well...its interesting...really it is..God, You're amazing...most of my problems are settled already...projects..emotions...stress..now just one more project to go and then the exams and then...IM FREE!!:D Last week...God asked me to close my eyes...i saw a ring on a table..i picked it up..sensed God saying that He had given me the authority and the power...because that was His ring that He used that to seal contracts...and this verse came in mind..." Then Pharoah took his signet ring from his finger and put it on Jospeh's finger. He dressed him in robes of fine linen and put a gold chain around hi neck. He had him ride in a chariot as his second-in-command, and men shouted before him, " Make way! " Thus he put him in charge of the whole land of Eygpt. " Genesis 41:42-43. Thank you God...for reminding me that You have chosen me as one of Your leaders...God..what you have been showing me has been...way bigger than i had ever imagine myself to go..but i know that as i continue to trust in You...no matter what happens, no matter how bumpy the ride is..You will always be with me...cos im protected by Your everlasting love...Jesus, You're beautiful...that day God showed me another vision...He was pulling me up to sit next to Him on His right...but I was holding on to my friends...my family..my loved ones..and these things seemed to be dragging me down...God..no more.... God..I surrender...I surrender...

Well, FOP was AWESOME...whoo...really awesome..God's presence was so strong...and all around people were singing and clapping and giving their all to Jesus...couldnt help but jump for joy even though there were so many things that seemed to be holding me down at that time..

Thank you Lord...for how it worked out..I just wanna be where You are..

2007-08-02T18:30:00.000+08:00

Job chapter 4. Job, I know how you feel. You know what? i wish sometimes i werent even born. God can this week get any worse? Im crying out to You God...take me away from this pithole.

2007-08-01T19:16:00.000+08:00

Jesus You're all I need. And I mean this with all my heart. You're all I need:) Cos only in You I am complete. The song below is dedicated to the 23 christians who went to Afghanistan to provide aid..

Walk on Water

Verse
I will walk on water,
despite the raging storm
I will walk on water,
as though my feet on solid ground
I will walk on water,
Jesus please hold my hand
I will walk on water
for You I'll take a stand

Chorus
Cos You paid the price
On the cross You died
Jesus You were the Lamb
of sacrifice

Now please take my life
Use me as You please
I'll walk with you each day
despite the cost I have to pay

Hear my prayer oh God
I'm crying put to You
Help me stand firm
against the storm

Lord I place my trust
In You most Holy King
I lift up holy hands
and praise Your holy name

I wrote this song inspired by the christians over there who did not seem shaken by what they have to go through...and I cant help thinking..what if..one day..I was caught in the same situation? Would I do the same? Would I stand firm for my faith? And right now I wanna declare, YES. I'll stand firm. Despite all i have to go through. Cos Jesus is the One that matters in the end, and in Him I'll trust:)

Tough week again. projects and more projects on top of emotional problems. Whew, left with one more project before study/exam week starts. yay!!! almost over:D God, You know my heart...thank you for comforting me:) Just wanna talk about one particular picture that I thought was really interesting. It's about a car. and what i felt God say was that...as a leader, I was one of the wheels...and the body of the car was the church itself, powered by God fuel....and then He said..as the wheels...leaders play an improtant part...without us the car will not be able to move...we in fact, serve the car by helping it to fufill its purpose: to move in the direction that God has called us to go...but then again...without the car the wheels have no purpose..God's leaders are not called leaders if there are no sheep to guide..bottomline? When you feel like giving up on your sheep..remember your purpose as God's leader..you are there because they need you..and you need them just like wheels are not complete without the car itself...together they can work togetber in fullfilling God's purpose...to bring the passengers they have picked up along the road to safety...

Change my heart oh God...

2007-07-29T14:29:00.000+08:00

Ok. That's it. Its time to stop being childish. Time to stop being stupidly crazy if that craziness isnt for God. Cos im a leader and im supposed to lead by example. I know a lot of ppl out there think its strange that im actually a leader when they see me acting so crazy and childish. So im gonna put a stop to it. No more. And cos i love God so much...im willing to make that sacrifice..Lord, help me to change...from the inside out...God you know why i act the way I do...cos thats my escape route from feeling stressed and lousy... And i know thats not the correct escape route. Please God...help me to change...i need You more than ever...

Something Cindy said at cell last week really struck me...she told us that..she loves God so much that she does not want to get involved in BGR anymore..and that made me wonder....HOW MUCH DO I ACTUALLY LOVE GOD??? and i guess that loving God..has to be to the point where you are willing to give your whole life up to Him...so that nothing else can try to take you away from His presence..cos you are so in love with Him... :)

2007-07-29T01:34:00.000+08:00

Today was another tough day...God i know i didnt give my best while serving and I'm sorry...I'm sorry for disapointing You...just had too many things on my mind...tried to surrender them but didnt have time to think through it before i served cos i was doing something else before joining the ushers...and..basically i messed up...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???!?!? Everytime i serve I'll mess up in some way....i guess i know the reason...its becaused i get looked down on so often...everything i do..ppl seem to think i cant do it..i wont be able to do it well...everytime i do something i seem to have done it wrong..till i am so afraid of getting scolded and put down again that i just loose that confidence..Even though i know that God gave me the confidence i need...i just loose it...cos im too afraid of doing something wrong that that fear actually makes it worse...it sound quite stupid but sad to say thats the truth...and its driving me crazy..im fine when there isnt any so-called authority figures around to see my actions..cos they're not around to scold me...but everytime there's someone with higher-up authority around..im at a loss of what to do and say..cos that fear just sets in and makes me feel that everything i say and do will make me look like an idiot cos i'll end up getting scolded or stared at weirdly. Its really not their fault cos I'm born 151cm tall at 17 years and small in size and insignificant in the eyes of ppl. But you know what? im happy about that. Cos i know that every time ppl actually notice me..its cos they notice God in me....

But I know that as long as i continue to place my trust in Him and perservere...i'll be able to overcome this fear...cos my God can do anything...today God gave me an interesting vision..its about these syringes that came rushing towards me..and when they came and peirced me..they began to draw my blood..drawing out my strength..my life...and then..Jesus comes..He starts to heal those wounds and gives me a cup of blood to drink. His blood. His love. His warmth. His care. and...it makes me wonder..you know what? I dont mind getting hurt by others if what i'm gonna get in return is Jesus' s restoration of my soul with His own blood. Thank you Jesus. For all that You have done. I love You....please help me through tommorow..You know what i mean..you know how scared i am of that person already...help me through that God..In You I place my confidence. :)

2007-07-27T00:34:00.000+08:00

Ok, didnt blog for quite long....lots of things happened...just didnt have the mood to blog it down for the last few days....well..this week has been quite rough..emotionally..but God helped me through...God made me learn out of what I went through...and..its just amazing how He teaches me...even in a dentist's chair...haha..that was cool..how He gave me a picture while the dentist was injecting me and pulling out my teeth...awesome man!!! on...monday or tuesday I think...God gave me a scene...it was about me and Him on the sea in a boat, and we were fishing..and then i sensed God say that...you know, sometimes its not all about passion, sometimes its also about skill and aiming and listening to where He points so that you know where the fish are..passion can only get you started..but if you dont develop your skill in fishing, if you dont listen to His voice carefully..You're not gonna catch much fish..and..isnt it just like evangelism? Passion will drive you...but..listening to God's voice in my opinion is far more improtant if you wanna reach out effectively...if God have given you this gift of evangelism, then practice and listen, no matter how many times you fail...cos God is in the process of correcting your methods and guiding your hand...so that one day...you will catch a whole SCHOOL of fish:) Then that day...I was facing some conflicts with my friends..and I was really hurt....and i just cried out to God..and God gave me this verse..Hebrews 13:5-6..'..."Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper;I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"' and.. God is so powerful...so so powerful...more powerful than anything that ever lived....GOD YOU ARE AWESOME!!!:D:D:D what I learnt today? Consecration. God gave me one very important point. Jesus' blood is the best detergent that there will ever be. 100% guaranteed to remove all stains...WHOOO!!!! Think your life is so stained that nothing can remove it? Turn to Jesus...He's waiting to wash away those stains with He's very own blood..thats how much He loves you....:):):)

haha, well, i mentioned i went to the dentist...went to pluck out another two teeth...so now ive got four missing teeth, luckily three of them are baby teeth..haha..next thursday is THE day...BRACES...haha...a bit sad...cannot eat all the junk food I like for now...sob..oh welly, porridge is okay...haha, thanks mum for specially cooking all the soft food that i like and chopping it into tiny bits so that i can eat it in:D thank you dad for driving me back from the dentist so that i dont embarrass myself with a cotten guaze thing stuck in my mouth and blood and saliva dripping...heh heh..:D and thank you JESUS for being with me right there beside me next to the dentist's chair...you are awesome...just so awesome Jesus...I love you:)

2007-07-22T00:15:00.000+08:00

JESUS!!!!! YOURE AWESOME!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!!! Today's concert was seriously...AWESOME. Pure awesomeness of God's presence. I could feel His presence when i stepped into the worship centre during worship..woah, ...87 dedications, about 38 newbelievers. WHOOO!!!!!!JESUS, THANK YOU!!! Thank you for working wonders Lord....You never cease to amaze all of us...I was mostly downstairs and outside the worship centre today doing FTV...and..a big thank you to those who helped out! I could see you guys really gave your best in welcoming the newcomers! Proud of all of you! WHEEEEE.....and God....thank you..for telling me that your grace was sufficent for me...thank you for giving me that verse..1 Corinthians 4-9...to trust in Your strength..even though i was so tired in the morning and had to take care of my project and everything...Lord..thank you for helping me to put my confidence in You...in leading the FV ppl....i can only bow down and say how much I love you...Jesus...You are amazing...:D:D:D

2007-07-18T00:24:00.001+08:00

God...i miss her..i miss being with her...and when i talk to her...its tough...i change almost automatically from my crazy usual self to a stiff and formal stranger....its crazy...and its not because i dont like her or anything like that...on the contrary...its just that i dont trust myself anymore...i dont trust what stupid nonsense my mouth can blurt out...Jesus...help me...i wanna be myself but i dont dare to...God...take control of this situation...in You I trust....In Jesus' name i pray, amen:)

PEOPLE OUT THERE!!!! SATURDAY!!! 21st JULY 2007!!! NUBIAN GENTS!!!! AT RIVERLIFE CHURCH WORSHIP CENTRE!!! WHOOOOO!!!! It's gonna be totally awesome man! I know it and i just know it! Cos God's presence is gonna be with us:D that day i was praying ...and i saw this pillar of fire in the middle of worship centre...and from the centre the fire seemed to spread...it wasnt the normal kindof fire...it was more of this spiralling sort of light, running all over in a pillar shape....and i just knew that that was God's holy presence....and He's gonna saturate the worship centre on Saturday!!!! whoo!!!! Cant wait....gonna be a awesome time of serving Him:D:D:D Lord, in whatever we do..please lead and guide all of us...give us the strength and wisdom that we need...Love you Jesus:D

2007-07-17T00:09:00.000+08:00

Woah..today was...woah...ok, when something happens for the third time in two weeks...i seriously dont think its a coincidence...the first time was last week...when i was asked to help interpret a verse... and I heard God's voice speaking and I told her what I sensed He was saying...and it seemed that another person she asked also said around the same lines...second time was on Friday...I interpreted a vision for someone...again I just sensed so strongly that God was saying it...third time...today...I was praying for one of my fellow DG members and I sensed God saying something so strongly that I couldnt shut my mouth...and I knew i just had to tell her what I sensed God was saying...and it really encouraged me because I could see that she was touched when I said what He had to say to her...God..You seriously never cease to amaze me....thank you for answering my prayer today....that You would use me during DG:) and what she said struck me: Sarah..I think that God is preparing you for the prophetic ministry... And just that day Ps Joseph Ong was speaking about Nathan in the bible and how he brought to David God's word...I think it's a really cool gift...but then again...Ps Joseph was saying how people didnt like prophets...because they had to reveal the sins in different lives....and I just sensed God saying to me just now...he was going to use me and with this gift He has given me...he would reveal not only good things....but the evil in people as well....when i was closing my eyes I saw this thing that looked like black ink and it really made me feel uncomfortable and for some reason I just knew that was poison and sin and evil. And I sensed God saying that...that's when I have to start going forth...rebuking evil...to the extend of even casting out demons...and it all sound very far-fetched now..but I know...with God all things are possible...God can use and donkey in the bible and i know God can use me, 151cm tall, small in size compared to everyone else....but I know that as long as I have faith..God can move the mountains....Lord I pray that You will come and develop this gift that You have given me and help me to use it for the sole purpose of bringing You glory....amen:)

Today on the ride home in dad's car...God gave me a picture which i thought was really cool...It started out as i sensed Jesus saying to me: Come, let's take a walk down the beach...and as I closed my eyes, I saw myself walking beside Jesus next to the waves...and I saw footprints behind us...and then the waves washed away the prints...and then I sensed God say... : If you want to be a trail blazer...how can you keep that flame you left behind from extinguishing? And I started to think...I thought of finding ways to make my light brighter...but i knew that even so, some parts of the fire would get snuffed out by the water...and I thought some more...and suddenly..I had it! I could create barriers! Strong barriers that would keep the tide from getting the trail! this way the water will not be able to extinguish the trail of fire that is left behind! and then it hit me: Spiritual Warfare. You wanna be a trail blazer in your school? First go into spiritual warfare...because if you don't...no matter how much impact you leave with your classmates...it it quite easy for the devil to start planting doubts in their minds...its time to go into spiritual warfare people! spiritual WARfare! time to go to WAR!!! Get on the full armour of
God! because its time to slay the dragon and save the prisoners!!! Lord....I pray against everything that satan tries to do in my school...Lord...You are way mightier and way more powerful than he is...I pray for Your protection on myself and all the other warriors of Christ as we go out there and be trail blazers and fight this spiritual battle...Lord, equip us and guard our hearts..in You we trust...WHOO!!!:D In JESUS awesome name, amen!:D:D:D:D

Soccer is fun!!! whee...heading is fun! a bit pain when you use the wrong part of your head and face...but its still so fun! yay! i went a bit high and crazy after soccer, but other than that my head is totally fine:D hahaha....too bad S and W is ending in another two weeks time:( learning soccer is really a great experience...hope that i'll be able to practice my skills after the module ends...

Jesus, I've said this so many times and I'll say this once again.....You never cease to amaze me :)

2007-07-16T00:13:00.000+08:00

On Sat and Sun Ps Joseph Ong spoke about developing a heart for God....i think the point that struck me most was about God putting us in the desert...and...its tough...its real tough..im still in it....and i wont say im exactly enjoying it...Ps Joseph talked about God refining us in the desert...and how we have to face hardships...failing relationships....disapointments...and..its coming true in my life...about what he talked about...its not easy..no way has it been for the last few months that i spent and am spending in the desert..but you know what? Im not regretting it...cos this experience is so valuable...He's teaching me stuff that i wouldnt have given much thought about..He's moulding my character...shaping me...so that He can use me...and..thank you Lord...for putting me in the desert...thank you for breaking me..Lord...i pray that You will continue to do so...because i wanna be used by You...teach me Your ways....and thank you for putting different people in my life to guide me along...thank you especially for my deer penguin TY...miss penguin....you dont know how much your advice and what you said encouraged me man....thanks for telling me what He put in your heart to say... :) and..to person x....i think you should know who you are...thank you so much...for obeying God's voice and doing what you had to do...i still love you so much... :)

Have you been shot by darts before? not about positions...I'll refer to those by the term 'arrows', but by 'darts' i mean more of involvement in stuff...and this few weeks i was shot with one dart and then a second dart came along and stuck in the exact same spot as the first and i accepted the second dart and forgot to take out the first...so I got into a bit of trouble today...its cleared already but i feel a bit bad about the whole thing...Lord...please teach me responsibility...

Lord, burn in me that desire to never stop craving for You..You're all I need...Help me to be that trail blazer...I long to shine for You....I love You Jesus... :)

2007-07-14T21:14:00.000+08:00

These two days have been interesting..very interesting...God's been teaching me stuff about discipleship....and...I think that the best thing about disciplehip is that...though it may be tough...though the process is long...but what is rewarding is when your discipler grows spiritually...when the time you have put in pays off and God's glory is shown in that person's life....thats the best part...God....continue to use me to touch others...I wanna make a difference in their lives...because they matter so much to me....teach me Lord...give me wisdom as I lead them closer to You....and God...thank you for the gifts that You have given me...help me to use them as You please....I love You Lord...I commit myself into Your hands once again:)

2007-07-12T22:54:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when you feel like giving up on something, its best to seek God and see what He has to say...like today...I was fed-up...i was reminded how ppl got irritated when i practiced the piano...and i felt that i was really rotten at piano and i was having the i-dont-even-know-why-i-should-continue-piano mood...when God started to speak...and it brought tears to my eyes...He said something like this.. "Child..I adore Your worship unto Me...Sarah, I think you're great.." and...wow...can you imagine? The Most High King actually likes how i play the piano...and...you know...it doesnt really matter what others think already...I know I tell myself so many times that I dont care but inside I do...and it really hurts...but now...i dont see any reason to care...not when JESUS says He loves my music....it really doesnt matter what everyone thinks...what He thinks is far more valuable....I love you so much Jesus:) *hugs* He told me to peservere too...and...God I will...I promise...I'll perservere and pass that final exam next year...cos i know you're guiding my fingers as i play....never stop holding me in Your arms Jesus...help me to trust in You completely... :)

2007-07-11T20:40:00.000+08:00

God gave me a new song today...

My King:

............F.................C....................G..A....
Jesus Christ, my Lord, my Redemeer
............F...............C......G......
fill me now with joy I pray
.................F......C.........G..........A..
Wash my sins away, cleanse me
.................F.................C.........G.......
So I may serve with all my heart

...............F......
Cos You reign,
..................C.....
most high King,
............G.......................A....
wanna give my life to You
...............F.......
I lift my hands
..............C.....
Use me now
............G......
Lord I pray
.................F......
Take my heart
...............C.......
mould it Lord
...............G..................A....
to be a pleasing sacrifice
................F.....
I live for You,
............C.....
all my days
....G...
Jesus

....G..C....G..A
Jesus, Jesus
...G..C........G....
Jesus, my King

This song is dedicated to all my fellow ushers...Continue to burn so brightly for Him!:) Lord, please help my to put ALL my trust in You...give me the onfidence that I need Lord....

2007-07-09T00:01:00.000+08:00

Today during EA worship God gave me one of the best pictures ever....

IMAGINE: Daylight is breaking...you are just a few years old..a child...and you are walking hand and hand with Your father...JESUS. Both of you approach the beach...As the sun rises...you start to build sandcastles...As you laugh, Jesus laughs too...He adds stones to the sides of the structure so that the tide wont erode it away...as the day passes you play with Jesus ...spending the time chasing each other...wadding into the waters...splashing each other...in short, you have great fun with Him...just you and Him...alone on the the beach...as night falls...Jesus teaches you how to light a fire...You look, learning from you heavenly Dad...Jesus asks you to gather some more wood...you go to the trees in the distance alone...but you get scared as you are enshrouded in darkness..you run back..Jesus stands up and takes you by the hand, walking with you towards the darkness once again...your fear leaves you... you walk back to the fire with Jesus after gathering more wood...and throw the pile of wood into the fire...the flames grow brighter...comsuming the wood hungrily...you sit down and snuggle into God's arms...and you start gazing at the stars up in the sky...after a while your eyes start to get heavy and as you sink into Jesus' warm embrace...you fall into a peaceful and contented sleep....

And when I saw that in my mind...i was imagining that I was that child...and i started to realise...you know...God yearns so much for us to draw close to Him...is only whether we are able to make time for Him...God longs to hold and hug us as a father would to his child...and...God thank you for giving me that wonderful picture....to tell me that simple message that You love me:)

Highlife Camp is gonna be awesome! Highlifers! Mark your calendars! 14th-17th Dec! Whooo!!! God you reign:D Thank you for being in our midst today:D:D

2007-07-06T23:44:00.000+08:00

Lord...thank you so much...You have taught me that...i need my friends' support sometimes for stuff to happen...the ice is finally melting...thank you so much Jesus:)

2007-07-06T12:35:00.000+08:00

God is teaching me a really tough lesson now...something that i have been struggling since young...its about watching my mouth...sometimes i say really stupid things without even thinking , and when it comes out...the damage is done and there's nothing much i can do to change what i said...Lord...help me to learn and not repeat my mistakes over and over again...

That night when i was closing my eyes I suddenly saw this candle..and beside it was this small bottle which i somehow got the understanding that that was alcohot...and God started to reveal to me...that if you are the light, and you fed yourself with plain water alone...you will extinguish your own flame...however if you pour alcohol over it the flame burns even brighter...and..isnt that the same for our spiritual lives? If we just feed ourselves with what is essential but is plain and does not cause a stirring in our hearts..then sooner or later that flame will just extinguish..but alcohol is strong and powerful...not to say that we should consume alcohol to lead a christian life, on the contrary God says not to indulge ourselves these things...but in reference to the spritual context..i think that God wants us to feed ourselves with things that would stir in us a greater desire to burn for Him...i feel that God wants us to go for things that are life-changing and EXTREME. Cos our God is a EXTREME God. I think its time to be discontented with where we are spiritually..time to stop feeding ourselves with things that would only help us to survive as a christian...but to start wanting to grow so much deeper in Him..to desire for so much more than we are at now spritually..to be RADICAL christians..lets start feeding ourselves with things that would help our flame to burn even brighter for Jesus!:)

Then God gave me another vision of a candle..this time there was this candle in the middle of many papers...and i sensed God telling me that...it is really important where the flame is being lit...if you light the flame and put it on the paper beside the candle, wont the flame consume the papers and candle itself ? Perhaps the flame will not even be able to reach the candle...but if you light the wick of the candle...that candle is gonna shine for all to see....likewise...when we read God's word..when we listen to sermons....when we seek God...does it just create a spark for that moment? Are we lighting up the papers among the candle? Or do we actually catch that word of God and bury it deep in our hearts..lighting up the very middle of the candle..the wick...and cherishing His word so that that candle of ours can burn so brightly for Him?

Then yesterday..God thought me something..sometimes when we honour God, we expect Him to honour us in a way that we want...but yesterday He started to tell me that...you know..sometimes it seems that He isnt honouring us back..but in actual fact he just does it in a different way..a much better way...only we dont see it at first..God..thank you...thank you for what You allowed to happen last night...cos I realised that what happened actually worked out for the best...You are awesome Lord...You are simply AMAZING!!:D

2007-07-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

Today God told me that He wanted me to learn how to love His people...and through different situations today He started to teach me how to do so...and....its really not easy...partly cos im quite impatient by nature....and as He started to teach me...i started to discover that I myself am really quite unlovable in some ways...oh man...and then i start to realise...God wont put others down when He's teaching you a lesson, instead He will lift you up till u get a bird's eye view of your own mistakes and make you realise that you seriously need to change in you ways in order to bring Him glory...and .we should love His people...just as He loves us...if He can love us, someone that has sinned against Him and hurt Him so many times...then..shouldnt we follow His example and love EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the face of this earth even if it may seem difficult sometimes? Lord...continue to mould me....shape me into the person that You can use...

2007-07-03T19:53:00.000+08:00

GOD I PRAY AGAINST EVERY SINGLE THING THE DEVIL IS TRYING TO DO ON THE MY WHOLE EXTENDED FAMILY ON MY MUM'S SIDE. IN JESUS' NAME I PRAY AMEN. There's no concrete proof on the many things that the devil tried to do, but theres more than enough occurences to safely say that i dont know why, but he's trying to do something...thats good i guess, it shows that he's afraid. HAH! JESUS RULES!!!:D the devil is using people to do so much harm and hurt to us....even i have been affected by it...and i really feel bad for the people he tried to use cos you cant really blame them since they have not known The Light yet.. In Jesus' Name, I pray against any further harm on my family...Lord please send Your angels to protect Sitiawan Po-Po and Gong-Gong especially....Lord, be in control...cos when You are...something happpens in the spiritual realms....now i know one reason why God wanted me to go back to Sitiawan that time....thanks for giving me that chance Lord...Couzies out there...if you read my blog and you know what im talking about, its time to go into spiritual warfare..Lets whack the devil on the head and stomp Him down!!! Whoo!!!

Lord..take charge... :)

2007-07-02T22:25:00.000+08:00

Ive got this urge right now to evenglise to someone...Lord...let that opportunity come tommorow....In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen:)

2007-07-02T21:11:00.000+08:00

God You are awesome....wow...i wanna keep soaking up God's embrace and never stop at it...Lord...teach me...i wanna learn Your ways....I dont wanna let the gifts that You have given me go to waste just like the dirty water running down the canal...instead, let me be that spiritual tap that You can use to heal wounds and speak life into the hurt, the lost, the confused...Lord...thank You for breaking me...thank You for what You are doing in my life...

Today i was kindof asking God to give me a vision for something...and I sensed Him saying: "Why do You yearn for visions? I want to speak to You face to face!" you know...God longs to draw so close to us...and as Ps James Singh said...sometimes its best to stop. Be Still. And Listen. God is speaking. Are You listening? Are you catching that heartbeat of God? I think its time we stopped having that God-is-up-there-and-im-down-here-and-im-too-unworthy-for-Him-to-talk-to mindset...maybe for some of us we just dont trust that He would actually speak to us...i still do sometimes...i tend to doubt His voice...and God i pray that You would remove all doubt in my mind...Lord please let my ears be so sensitive to Your slightest whisper...Cos i wanna be used by You...u know..its time to stop holding back any longer...start craving for more and more of God...who cares what others think? yeah they hurt sometimes, yeah they can put you down...but in the end...isnt God the only one that matters? Isnt God the only one that cares the most about Your relationship with Him? Isnt His unconditional love for you enough to wanna know Him so much more? Lord help me not to be satisfied with where i am....

That day during worship I was telling God how much some stuff hurt me...and...as i closed my eyes I saw God's hand...His nail-pierced hands...and i sensed Hime saying: I know how you feel....They too have done it to me... woah tat just hit me hard...God knows...isit that awesome? God went through so much...He knows when You hurt...cos He's been hurt so many times by His own creation...and i believe...God wants to prove to us that He can give us that strength that we need to get through the pain and come out stonger...No hurt is too deep for God to heal...lets believe and claim that in Jesus mighty name:) God You reign:D

2007-07-01T10:15:00.000+08:00

Whoo! Yesterday was...WHOO!! ok lemme start from before service...hey there...im sorry i was kindof uncooperative when we met...its just that..i dont feel like saying anything cos of our distance..im really sorry..will try very hard to improve...

Then service...WAS POWER!!!! seriously...man..Pastor James Singh started preaching and i could actually already feel the holy spirit stirring in me...then altar call! whoo! haha! people started falling on other ppl...the ushers were trying to lay them properly so they wouldnt crush one another! haha! me? i was blanketing as usual...heh heh...that fear still exists about getting crushed even though Cord taught us a really good method for catching ppl...anyways..ran around blanketing ppl...blankets were used up so fast! haha! then Cord got Ps James Singh to pray for us! haha...when he prayed for me the holy spirit didnt move very strongly this time, it was more of the sweet gently flowing kind, the make-you-cry kind...so of cos i started crying...then Tian Ying came and sat down beside me and put one arm around me..then she told me something that resulted me having the how-on-earth-did-you-know-that reaction...she told me later that she was just very led to say what she told me...oh man...God...thank you so so much..for sending different ones at the exact right moment.....God, You will never ever ever cease to amaze me...you know...helping out at altar calls to me is sometimes as good as responding to it...cos you get to see God's power moving across the altar...and you're able to feel God's presence all over the altar...its a seriously wonderful experience... :D

haha...God's very interesting...He uses bus rides and waiting for the bus to teaching me lots of lessons...one that occured very recently is waiting for the bus...it happened four times so far, i would pray something like this: "Dear God, please help the bus to come now Lord...." and the when i prayed finished, or even halfway through my prayer, i would see the bus come in view..like almost instantly kind...then that day..the third time it happened..as i was going up the steps of the bus i sensed God saying this to me: " why are you so impressed by this? Don't you know I can do much greater things?" and it really hit me...you know, sometimes we are so thankful and happy over the small things that God does for us..i mean, theres nothing wrong with that, in fact we should thank God for all these blessings...but...I think its time to look at bigger stuff...i think its time to expect something greater from God...cos our God is a BIG God! How big? Well, He created the universe, thats how big! He created everything! and I think its time we put our faith and trust in Him for BIGGER revalations, BIGGER visions, BIGGER dreams...i think its time to rise up and be that person of influence that understands that authority that God has placed in our hands...lets not degrade God to a God that can only do so much...lets start to trust in Him for the BIG things that go beyond our imgination:D Lord...please give me that faith to believe all those visions that You have placed in my heart will come to past....

Today something interesting happened..again when i was waiting for the bus...and...i feel really really bad cos i didnt obey...I heard God's voice and i started to doubt...cos what He asked me to do really needed lots of courage...and i didnt listen...that fear just came over me...and man did i feel so rotten after that...i did repent and everything andGod says He's gonna give me another chance, so...Lord...give me that boldness and remove all fear Lord...I need Your strength.....

Just something to think about: What are you gonna do with that power that God has placed in your hands? Will you stuff it in your pocket? Or will you use it to bless someone else? " Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house." - Matthew 5:15 (NIV)

2007-06-29T19:32:00.000+08:00

Yay! i could finally bang the piano just now:D Friday night is always the best, usually no ones at home:D haha, spent my four hour break at Ling e-e's house as usual, Rachel was at home!:D Hey Rae...man i really love your style of playing...so cool...its a Friday...its a friday...which mean tml's SATURDAY!! best day of the week! yay! Have a Microsoft Access test on monday...Lord please give me the DISCIPLINE is study hard for it:)

Last night before I went to sleep I was telling God how i didnt really feel Him that day...and..suddenly I sensed Him asking me to look up...and He asked me whether I could see that His rain was falling me...and just felt His peace rush over me once again...awesome....Lord...thank you...You will never cease to amaze me...Lord...please put in my heart a new song....In Jesus' Name i pray, Amen.

2007-06-28T16:09:00.000+08:00

Its been exactly a month now since...I dont know whether you still read my blog but if u do, i wrote this poem for you....

I curled up in a corner,
my heart closed to Friendship
But you patiently waited,
knocking on the cold hard door.
I stood up, clothed in doubt and fear.
I opened the door an inch,
I knew I had found a true friend.

I let you in and embraced you,
You filled my heart with joy.
In our friendship a rare gem I saw.
Through fear and anxiety you cheered me on,
you guided me, bringing me deeper in The Way.
The early hours with you I treasured,
When I stumbled you picked me up and washed my wounds
I knew I had found a true friend.

Then that friendship I started to abuse.
Out of my tongue shot fiery arrows
that pierced you
I shot you
again and again.
Then upon realisation
of what I had done to you,
I turned cold in dismay
My head hung down in shame
For I knew I had struck down a true friend.

I wrote this poem for the sole purpose that i treasured our close friendship and I wanna let you know that you are a true friend.. and that I still love you so much.

2007-06-28T11:24:00.000+08:00

Its Thursday! And all of us in 1A02 know what that means:D no school!slack day! whee:D hopefully next sem we get to have a day where there no lectures or anything again:) All the arrows have been shooting me recently...i only accepted one arrow, mua haha..i guess it's got to do with piorities...and..yeah i have other plans for my sem hols...go back to sitiawan to continue to do what God told me to do and also spend some time wif couzies...help out in church if they need help..intense banging of piano and spending time with God...so much to do:D yup...

i discovered from my tagboard that there were more ppl than i thought reading my blog...interesting...and i never knew Ps Ben would go around tagging ppl! so cool!:D This sat...im kindof scared about something...but will put that in God's hands...Lord, please help me not to say anything stupid or ridiculous or hurting or disrespectful...yup...can't wait for altar call! another powerpacked round!:D

oh man i love my bedroom slippers:D yes i know its insane to have bedroom slippers in hot and sunny Singapore but i saw these bedroom slippers in Sitiawan with a 3-D snoopy face on them and i just had to buy it:D so now when i wear them there's two dogs walking in front of me:D one day....my dream will finally come true and i will finally have a golden spaniel....one day...

Lord, I surrender all my hurts and worries at the cross right now...please let your blood wash over me and fill me with Your joy...i need Your strength...i love You Jesus...you're awesome:) In Jesus' name i pray, amen:)

2007-06-26T23:48:00.000+08:00

Mixed up. Confused. Frustrated. Hurt. Its just getting worse...God, all I have is You...I dont know who else to turn to...and im not exaggerating...i look to my left, theres no one there, i look to my right, emptyness greets me, i look up, and then i see Your hand stretched towards mine, waiting to lift me up...Lord, take me to a place where no one else exists but You and me.In Jesus' name i pray, Amen.

2007-06-25T22:41:00.000+08:00

Soccer rocks! yay...its fun...once u start to get the hang of it, its quite fun, er, skill wise, erm...i've alot of catching up to do...at least i wont embarrass myself so much when i have to play soccer in team games:D

Bro!!! Woah!!! You're amazing man! Your self portrait looks super real lah! I think if dad really used photo paper to print your pic, it'll be quite hard to tell the real and painted one apart:D wah how do u do it man? Its really good!!! Hope you win the competition:D i think you stand a very good chance...proud of you bro!! :D:D:D

Lord, let Your will be done in my life:)

2007-06-25T12:21:00.000+08:00

Im very confused and mixed up rite now...God, when You said that there will be more to come, did u mean this? or is it just my imagination running wild? But God...thats something that i tresure so much...u told me to stay on and i did...but it seems like...God You know how much i treasure that...You how much i wanna impact them...thats why i stayed back...cos i was not done with touching their lives...the vision You gave me...are You gonna take it away? But Lord, You promised, and I know You dont go back on promises...Lord, let Your will be done...whatever happens, whether or not im at fault, let Your will, and only Your will be done..cos then at least my mind will be at rest cos I know You always do what's best for me...You alone understand what im going through, You know me best...Lord...please hold my hand every step of the way...i need You so so much...thank you for being there all the time..thank you for being there when i have no one else to turn to..thank you for being there when no one else seems to truly care...thank you Daddy...I love you so much...oh! and happy belated Father's day:)

2007-06-24T00:53:00.000+08:00

Well, back from Malaysia! im a bit disappointed with myself...i didnt do much to reach out to po-po this time...i guess i was scared..when i finally had the chance to talk to her..i was afraid to talk to her much in Chinese...maybe its cos since young, ppl have been laughing at the way i speak Chinese..they say my accent is funny and everything( ok i admit that is kindof true)..so everytime i speak Chinese i tend to stammer cos im so conscious of what im saying...this is bad..ppl please please dont follow my example...i need to learn ALOT bout trusting in God still...then i was praying to God bout it, and i saw this pic where God was slashing down the trees in the jungle and i was following behind Him, and i sensed Him saying that He was clearing the path for me to share the good news with po-po..that He will slash away all the hinderances one by one in her life till she was opened to recieve the gospel....and..wow..God..everytime i go back...give me a chance to bring her one step closer to You...my mum told me that she shared with po-po bout my miraculous O level results and how God guided me through...and Po-po agreed that that could only be God at work...so, well, its one step closer..she still has doubts...but nothing is impossible with God!:D

haha, i discovered where my parents go in the mornings everytime we go back to Sitiawan! cos when i was younger i would play with Eve, Jenny and A-Pat the whole day...haha, this time i followed my mum to breakfast( curry laksa mee is fantastic as usual) and then i discovered the joy of goin to the market! haha! cos i discovered that Sitiawan markets have trinkets which u cant find in Singapore! there are cute scruchies...fascinating keychains..cool bracelets....and the most unique earrings! hah! goodness, im still amazed at how it happened...i got my ears pierced! and i never thought about it till the day itself! cos Mum, Ing-e-e, King e-e, Deb and I were looking at some earrings at one of the market booths...and the earrings were really unique ..the plastic kind...and so cheap! Then i saw this tiny doggy earrings, and of cos i went: so cute!!! and then i saw these tiny toothpaste earrings and i was oohing and ahhing all over and my mum was beside me, haha, then she said: "you want to wear the earrings, you go and have your ears pierced lor..." but i was hesitant cos i was afriad that if i pierced my ears and didnt wear any earrings in the end it would just close and it would be wasted, so i asked Ing-e-e how much it cost to have my ears pierced in Malaysia, and she said not to worry, it only cost 12 Ringgit..then Deb( cos she was getting her ears pierced in the afternoon) was insisting and everyone was trying to talk me into it so i finally gave in since it only cos about 6 Singapore dollars! so i got my ears pierced to together with Deb..haha, quite an unforgetable experience! haha!:D

Bredon Kor kor is getting married! Whoo!! soon we have more to add to our couz collection, i hope:D (so far we have twenty over, going to hit thirty soon if i remember correctly...)

Woah, today's altar call was POWER-PACKED!!! Paster Benjamin Chew was speaking, and he gave a really good altar call..whoa i was trying to follow after him together with a few others, holding on to the blankets and trying not to step on the people that had been slained, so fun!!!! Woah in the end the helpers had to stack the chairs to make enough space for the people so that they wont fall on each other and on the chairs! haha! so cool...and guess what? next week is Reverend James Singh who's speaking! another round man! Whooo!! Awesome! God, i pray that You'll move so powerfully again as You did today in Megalife! In Jesus' Name i pray, Amen! :D:D:D

2007-06-20T13:42:00.000+08:00

haha! my 100th post!:D Cool.....hmm, leaving tonight...seems like a mission trip even though its supposed to be a visit to my relatives..cos i have to get spiritually geared up for this trip..ITS TIME TO CLAIM SOULS IN JESUS' NAME!!!! WHOOOOOO!!! TIME TO WHACK THE DEVIL THE THE HEAD!!!!!!!!TIME TO FREE THE CAPTIVES AND UNLOCK THEIR CHAINS!!!!! TIME TO GO INTO SPIRITUAL WARFARE!!!!!! COS MY GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD AND WILL ALWAYS BE!!!!!!! :D:D:D Lord i pray that u prepare us Lord....remove all form of fear...cos in Your presence unholy fear does not exist...Lord, u know the situation over there...u know how the devil has tried to get at po-po and gong-gong through different ways...you know the evil that has tried to be done on them...and on my relatives too...im not gonna mention people..but God you know who...and im more upset than angry at these people...Lord, please open their eyes and deliever them from the clutches of the evil one..help them to realise that what they do is not at all right and is hurting so many people.....In Jesus name, Lord i pray that Your mighty hand will move so powerfully in Sitiawan...protect all of us Lord...u know what's going on there...now i know why u gave me the key of watchfulness...Lord help me to use that key and guard myself against the evil one...and God i pray for po-po and gong-gong...Lord...move in them..I pray that Your powerful Name will be proclaimed there...I know that faith moves mountains...Lord consume me with Your fire...i wanna burn so brightly for You over there...Use me Lord...and thank you for your sweet presence:) In Jesus' name I pray, Amen

2007-06-18T18:53:00.000+08:00

YAY!!!! IM GOING TO MALAYSIA!!! SITIAWAN!! :D:D:D wheee...Po-po and gong gong, here i comeeee.... Jenny i cant wait to see you again!!!!( miss you so much dude) :D

Okie, so maybe its just a quick visit back to Sitiawan for two days, thursday and friday, but you know what? i have been praying for this to happen..cos before my break i actually prayed for God to make it possible for me to go back to Sitiawan...Po-po's health condition is getting worse...and Po-po and Gong-gong arent saved yet...God has placed such a burden in my heart to see them saved, especially Po-po...and that day at prayer meeting Jeneatte asked us to think of a person and claim their salvation in Christ, and you know what? i'm 100 percent sure that i'll see both Po-Po and Gong Gong in heaven...cos my God hears and answers prayers! and at Saturday service, Pastor Ken Teo was talking about asking in JESUS' name, cos His name is powerful, and when u do that, you'll see miracles happening, the sick being healed, the demon-possessed being set free...and..God I believe...that You will use me to be a blessing to Po-Po and Gong- Gong, God I believe that when I lay hands on Po-po is JESUS' name, she will be healed cos You are a God of miracles, and God i believe that in Your timing, Po-po and Gong gong will accept you into their lives, Lord I believe...and in You i put my whole trust..sure, there's gonna be a language barrier, but NOTHING is impossible for God...Lord i pray that u'll use Mummy, Ing-e-e, King e-e and I to reach out to po-po and gong gong on this trip and prepare us to see Your hand move so powerfully....You are AWESOME Lord..Use us Lord...Thank you God:D

Prayer meeting on Friday was awesome, very spirit-led:D:D:D prayer meetings are getting better and better man! Whoo! and Saturday service! Power-stuff man! Pastor Ken Teo gave a power-packed message and a really awesome altar call...whoo!!! haha, and God is so good! He knew i acty badly wanted to respond to the altar call but i couldnt cos i was helping out during altar call....then when Joachim was pronouncing the benidiction Pastor Ken suddenly laid his hands on me! He didnt pray for me but God moved very strongly in me...haha, woah i felt God's power run through me so powerfully...so awesome man....Thank you Jesus! Whooo!!!:D:D:D

* Sings the going-back-to-Sitiawan song and goes high*

2007-06-15T00:46:00.001+08:00

Lord You never cease to amaze me...I'm still quite stunned at what just happened just now...happy-stunned...no, wait, more like exhilarated-stunned...could it be? Could this be the turning point in our relationship? The relationship that died more than 5 years ago? could it finally be that he actually wants to be my friend? God, he invited me to hang out with his friends! Well okay, his friends are prob lots of my friends too since they're megalifers..but... After all those times where...but anyway that was the past...and..if you actually read my blog....i want you to know that i've forgiven you...and im sorry i act so jerkish sometimes...i just wanna be your friend...more than that, i wanna be that sister thats always there for you..to comfort you when youre down and pick you up when u feel small...i wanna be a real sis..not a stranger living in the same house as you...Lord I pray you continue to grow this friendship...Lord you know how much i long to be so much closer to him..i love him Lord...so much..and i dont wanna hurt him anymore... :)

Today was another slack day...got about doing my reflection paper for FP...still need to improve on it..went to the dentist in the afternoon...its in the city, next to Funan Centre...dad brought me there( thanks dad!), the dentist specialises in braces..today was my first appointment..so its quite official, im getting my braces somewhere in early August..i shall get multi-colour braces! yay! ok i better not, haha..maybe i'll get multicolours in the festive season of december or something, haha...i shall get blue!:D yay blue rocks...wish they had glow-in-the-dark ones...then when theres a black out theres one more reason to smile, haha:D

today God spoke to me through an old comic-magazine...its a magazine called 'Tammy" dated 1984..haha yeah its old..but the stories are quite cool to read for fun..if uve been to UK then maybe u saw it ten years ago..cos my mum bought a whole collection of that type of magazine when we went there when i was 4...anyways, i was reading a story, 'Mask for Melissa', bout a girl who gets spotted by this guy who says she has great talent in acting and she goes to his school to learn how to act..and in the process discovers shes there more because of her looks than her talent...then she gets into an accident and is scarred..she cant bear to look at herself and hides behind a mask and even changes her name and gets a job somewhere else...in the end she removes it in public in order to save someone's life and discover that her scars are gone...

Well, its quite a long story, but thats the brief summary..and how did God speak through the story? Well its to do with rejection. Imagine youre very popular and everthing..and suddenly someone rejects you...maybe a few someones rejects you..maybe your loved ones start to reject you..and it leaves such a deep scar in your heart...and you start trying to hide your rejection...a mask...a cover-up...outside your seem fine..you start pretending that you're alright, you start to live a pretend life...you feign cheerfulness in front of others..but at night..when everyone else is gone..you take off that mask and you start to weep..you cry out but no one seems to hear you...Ever felt that way? Well i have..i felt so rejected by my own family...my friends...and it took serveral altar calls over a period of more than two years before i finally released the last of my rejection to God...and when i finally let all of it go...that joy just came over me..it doesnt matter what others think of me, i am after all an alien living in this land that God has put me in to do what he has called me to do..its what God thinks of me..cos in the end, He is all that matters..What im trying to drive across is that..everyone has a choice...you can coninue to dwell in your hurt and feel rejected your whole life...or you can surrender your rejection to God...and once you've done that..God can amaze you in ways that are beyond this world..Just remember..Jesus is not so interested on how you appear in front of others...He's more interested in what's going on in your heart...He's more interested in what's going on deep down inside where no one else can see...and unless you surrender what's inside to Him, he cant give you that peace and joy that you long for....

Just something that God made me think about: Soot and ashes cannot be used for anything..in fact it causes pollution on earth..only when there's a flame buring brightly for God can Jesus use it to draw all men to His saving grace....God please use me for your glory....

2007-06-14T00:40:00.000+08:00

Ouch. God it hurts. It really does. And its not going away. God i need You so much... all i have is You...everyone else has their own problems and worries...everyone else is too busy to listen..and i guess i dont wanna talk to them bout how i feel and all...what can they do about the situation anyway? Its in Your hands, and i know that that is the safest place anything can be in. Lord help me to surrender COMPLETELY to You....i love You Dad..

These few days have been slacking quite a lot...and doing projects...and slacking somemore...and banging the piano! whoo! finally have a chance to bang properly! But its not long enough...:( start banging for bout 15 min then people start to come home and i stop banging cos i know i cant focus on God with so many ppl around. Oh man..banging the piano.. so awesome man..to lose myself in God's presence...sortof composed a song in my mind while banging the piano...no intro though, just the bridge and the chorus..Lord put in my heart a new song...remember the times in the midst of my exams last year..and God started to put songs in my heart...God...u are seriously amazing...I shall write a poem one day..maybe during this hols...havent written one for a long long time..since before Os ended..maybe cos Lit lessons ended and i just didnt have mood to compose anymore..poems rock! especially when ure able to break them apart and understand the second or even third layers...its the same for prose..i guess that why i still love lit so much...to finally understand the real and deeper meaning of a certain text..it brings about that satisfaction...miss lit lessons by Mrs Tan.. :(

Well, time to do QT...Thank you Jesus for just being there:)

2007-06-10T15:23:00.000+08:00

Today's service was good..heh heh i woke up really late...yeah i know i lack discipline in that area..but anyways, God started to speak to me during worship...and...yes God, i believe...that you can use me, a tiny nobody in today's society, to lead people into Your kingdom, cos You yourself has anointed me with Your power do do the impossible..Lord use my hands...use me God..that's my cry for as long as i live...that You'll use me for Your will to be done..

Sermon was good too..by Senior Pastor William Lee from Bartley Christian Church..it got me thinking bout how the sermon was linked to ushering..time to build lives man! time to shape and transform young lives so that God can use all of us! To my fellow ushers out there! its time to rise up people! time to run back to the heart of worship and build ourselves up on His word and His promises! Time to get out of our comfort zone! and the time is NOW:D Fellow ushers i pray that today we will all catch that heartbeat of God, that urgency that is rising to go all out for Jesus in the way that we serve Him, in the way that we usher in His presence...believe that He is calling us to greater heights, cos i believe He is...whoo!!! :D:D:D

hmm, tml goin for cenversational E training by Mr Raymond Kwan...sounds interesting..amazing how God can move in typical convos...just like that day in school..haha that was really cool man..God u never cease to amaze me... :D

2007-06-10T00:07:00.000+08:00

yay the hols are finally here!:) wow 1 term passed so fast....

One day im gonna be numb to emotional pain...good or bad? im not very sure...hmm...i wonder how Jesus dealt with the pain that he had to go through...i mean, not just the physical pain, but the emotional pain..imagine the people you created so lovingly rejecting you...how would you feel? goodness...See, thats why Jesus is the perfect example to follow...he's been through what we are going through...

Lord im living for You and You alone...Jesus youre all that matters...only You and You alone know exactly what im going through right now..and..wow if i didnt have a relationship with You i would have jumped off the building a long time ago..Thank you Lord..for being there 24/7...for being in me..for embracing me and telling me how much You love me despite all that ive done...

Lord please help me in my ministry...help me to be so in tune with You...all i wanna do is to be a pleasing sacrifice when i serve You...God You deserve my very best and my all..help me to learn Lord..Thank you Jesus for giving me that strength today...:)

That day God made me realised something...its about the nails that went through Jesus' hand...i realised that..cos of the cruelty that the people showed on Him...which is what the nails could represent, Jesus' love was able to flow through, which could be represented by His blood...and, what im trying to say is that sometimes God can do amazing things through the situations that you consider to be horrid and hopeless and everything...:) so the bottom line? TRUST. put all your trust in God that He will not only pull you through whatever situation that youre goin through but also do something amazing through it:D yup...cos God is an AWESOME God:D:D:D yay:D:D:D

2007-06-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

Yay I found a way to stretch my fingers abit wider, muahaha:D haha, but according to my piano teacher i wont see the results till 2 months later...hmm...the method kindof makes sense..shall try it out:D Having an itch to bang the piano now...but its way past ten, so i shall spare everyone's ears..

Oh Lord it hurts even more now...it just hurts so much...oh Lord please take away that pain...i just wanna rest in Your presence...to feel so secure in Your embrace...Oh Lord i feel like screaming..i seriously do..

Today God gave me the key of watchfulness...I went to school early today cos Dad could fetch me..and i was sitting outside the main door to the classrooms cos it was still locked...so i started doin QT..then i closed my eyes and i saw an eagle land right in front of me...and it held out its wing and in it lay another key...the key of watchfulness...thats quite a scary key...as in, it makes you realise so many things that youre doin that are not pleasing in God's sight...and...well it can really break you at times...but who said that the price to follow Jesus was easy anyway? Its time to take my stand for Jesus and whack the devil in the head!whoo! :D Oh Lord i pray that You will continue to keep breaking me...thank you Lord...for just being with me all this while and being there to comfort me... You are indeed my bestest best friend:):):) In Jesus' name i pray, Amen:)

2007-06-05T01:41:00.000+08:00

Ahhhhhh.....just heard from Merrill that night service was awesome...oh man...how i wish i could have gone...just to spend the whole night dwelling in God's presence...must do it later...as in, spend time dwelling in His presence...i know that He's not done with me..haha, but as Joachim told all of us the night before, God's never done with us:D hmm...wish i could bang the piano more often...as in, bang all the worship songs and not just play what i have to practise...thing is that when i reach home usually theres already ppl at home and all so its really hard to concentrate on worshipping God...but when im at home alone...man those are the best worship times...where i just close my eyes and ask God to just give me worship songs...and then i just whack as the spirit leads...song after song after song...whoooo...

ok why am i blogging at 1+am when i just blogged earlier? cos im studying...study study study study...Zzzzzzzzz....haiz, test on wednesday...kindof scared..Lord please give me the strength to study properly and do well in the test:D and Lord please help me not to fall asleep when i study:) Thank you:D In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen:)

2007-06-04T21:04:00.000+08:00

Haiz...really wanted to go back to ldr's camp tonight.. :( but..argh..oh welly..God please please please let ldrs camp be in poly hols next year Lord...yesterday was interesting...i couldnt concentrate in the morning during camp cos of something that happened and i felt really bad cos i knew it was my fault and if the matter wasnt solved i would be toast...so i was kindof miserable in the morning...then during the afternoon session God told me to stop worrying and that everything had been taken care of...and true enough i found out later that everything was taken care of..whew..God really met and dealt with me yesterday during the services...awesome man... and one picure that i saw was of me and a man i presume is Jesus...and in my hand was this crystal glass container thingy which i have no idea how to decribe...haha...but it looked really pretty and beautiful..and i was holding it and God stretched out His hand to take it from me..and when i gave it to Him He took it and put it in this thing that looked like a safety deposit box..and i sensed Him saying this to me: 'Sarah..when the time is right I will give this precious gift back to you..' and..wow..oh Lord let it be true..everything You told me..you know how much i valued that friendship..that closeness and everything..God...one day..when the time is right...God You know that i dont wanna lose her...You know how much i still love her as a friend...and..oh Lord it just seems so weird now..talking to her and everything...this barrier thats just there...but God please just help me to submit to You with a heart of obedience..Lord help me to stop wallowing in my sorrow..it just that...right now its just still so difficult...cant get the whole thing out of my mind..argh..sigh..help me to know that..no matter what...You still love me Lord...that vision You gave me...of the golden locket You placed in my hand with the words 'Jesus Loves Me' inscribed on it..oh Lord i need your strength Lord...and Your grace and mercy...Lord thank you for all that u've done in me during that one day in camp...Lord i pray that You will continue to break me..thank you Lord..In Jesus Name i pray, Amen:)

2007-06-03T02:35:00.000+08:00

Wow. now i know the power of God's joy...amazing man...how His joy in me can make such a difference...This joy can fill me and overwhelm me to the point where i can just smile and laugh go hyper despite what im going through...and my actions are genuine...they arent forced..they arent a mask that i pull over, but its the joy that God put in me that causes me to wanna express it...thank you Lord..for giving me such a deep sense of peace...God i know that its gonna be tough and all...but God i pray that everytime i feel so alone...so lost...so burdened...Lord i pray that u just fill me up with that joy...so that there will be so much peace within me...that enables me to just cast all my cares unto You and worship you wholeheartedly...yay:D:D:D

Today at 8am im supposed to reach Harbourfront Centre! yay!:D why? cos its the start of MEGALIFE LEADERS CAMP!!!!!WHOOOO!!!! wow i sense that God's really gonna move very mightily in this camp...really a pity i cant go for the full one:( why dosent poly hols start a week earlier??? sigh...:( oh welly,will try to convince my parents to let me go for monday night....heh heh...hmm...my expectations for this camp...even though im not going for the full one...i guess its really to grow so much closer to God...to learn to be even more sensitive to the spirit to listen and OBEY everything that God speaks to me about:) and to of course be a better leader...oh ya! and to learn to trust so much in Him...that i may soar on His wings...God you know that deep down in me it still hurts so much...in this camp Lord i pray that i'll be so in tune with You Lord...to listen to what u have to tell me...oh ya! and Lord please reveal even more of my calling to me during camp Lord....thank you Jesus:D In Jesus name I pray, Amen:)

2007-06-01T03:35:00.000+08:00

God please take away the pain...it doesnt seem to be going away..it was especially bad after ushers L cell today..i almost cried in front of all the strangers at Macs..of course i held everything back...i didnt know how i was gonna survive Highlife cell which was later...then all of a sudden this sense of peace just hit me...and i felt God saying to me:' You're not going through this alone..I am with you..' and that joy just came rushing over me..that no matter what happened, i still had Jesus...and He is holding my hand every step of the way..but then..at night..when everyone else has gone to sleep and im still up...thats when it hits me really hard...i just cant forgot all those times..all the crazy and silly moments..where i would go so high she had to drag me down abit..all the stuff that she did for me..without even me telling her...cos she knew me so well..and now..sometimes i dont even dare to talk to her anymore..cos when i do it just hurts even more..oh God...fill up that emptyness in me with Your everlasting love Lord..the night before God asked me to stretch out my hand..i did and i closed my eyes at the same time...and as i did so i saw a key being placed in my hand..and on the key was the word 'thankfulness'...oh Lord help me to praise you when i just feel so down Lord..cos theres so much to be thankful for..God i need You...i need your strength..and God please continue to break me...thank you Lord:)

2007-05-28T21:30:00.000+08:00

Lord...why...of all things take one of the most precious things that i have..but God i know it was my own fault...God please forgive me..for disrespecting the one you have placed for me to be accountable here on earth...God what have i done...how could i have done and said so many stupid things without even realising it...Lord please grant me self-control..Lord please help me to respect those you have placed in my life to look over me..God im so sorry Lord...i've hurt her..and ive hurt You..Lord its as good as disrespecting You...oh God..God please break me...every single part of me...i dont wanna take back what i gave to you already...God sometimes its just seems so hard..but God i know that if i keep taking it back..God you wont be able to use me..and God you alone know how much i wanna fufill the calling you've called me too...God Jesus i need your strength...help me Lord...never stop increasing my desperation for You..and let Your will be done...cos i know Your will for my life is perfect...thank you Jesus.. :)

2007-05-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

wow, havent posted for really long...

hmm...God's in the process of beaking me...which i guess is a good sign, cos it shows that He's gonna use me...but...its really hard to take in sometimes...all the stuff that He's revealed to me..stuff that He wants me to change..i begin to discover how many flaws i have, and it is only in God alone that i can rise up and be the person He wants me to be..So God...continue to break me and mould me...cos i wanna be used by u...to touch all those around me..

And then theres school...im really in a fix sometimes...should i spend time with my friends during the long breaks and stuff?or should i go somewhere else and study? I really wanna do well in this course, but i wanna get to know my classmates better...cos it is only after i become their friend that i can start to reach out to them....to show them that that theres someone who loves them for who they are..and His name is Jesus..God help me be that light that uve called me to be in my campus Lord...to shine in that darkness so that all who see it will be be drawn to you...Lord i dont wanna waste my time here Lord...God give me that compassion to reach out...to all who are broken..hurt..confused...lost..cos i dont them to be lost for eternity...touch my campus Lord...they need You...

Hey bro..if u ever happen to read my blog..i just wanna let u know that i love u...i know we hardly talk at home and all...and we have so many differences..but deep down inside i love you so much..and i know that time and time again ive hurt you..and im really sorry..i hope that..one day...we'll be friends again..just like we were when we were younger...and always remember that God will always always be there for you..He waiting..for you to open up to Him so that He can embrace you...cos you are His precious child and He doesnt wanna let you go..:)

God i pray that you give me strength to go out there and win souls for You...let me be a pleasing sacrifice unto You ...Lord, use me..In Jesus' name i pray, Amen.:)

2007-04-18T23:14:00.000+08:00

whoa, so much happened!:D
ok, lemme start from Sunday...yay! Sunday was GOOD. Sunday was the day i went to indoor studium. Why? cos Benny Hinn was preaching! Oh wow, God used him so strongly to heal so many ppl.....wow...amazing...cancer...frature...athritis...all healed...how God moved so powerfully that day...and all the other days of the conference....yay....well, okie, firstly, they changed the timing of the sermon the day before, so instead of 7, it was at 4, so...me, thinking i was early, arrived at three and ended up in the overflow room:( poor Cord couldnt even enter cos she had something and come only at 6+:(:( but it was still awesome seeing God move even though i was in the overflow room....awesome day man....yay...

Then Monday. hmm...poly life is an eye opener....which is good and bad...Good in the sense that my class is quite bonded and crazy, so haha, 1A02 rocks!:D and the canteen food is good! Bad in the sense that the language there can get quite...hmm....flowery....and the peer pressure is quite strong too..yup...God help me to make the right decisions Lord..in everything that i do, help it to b pleasing to u..yup:D Oh oh! i joined Campus Crusade as a CCA! Whoo! rocks man....a cca which i really like:D hmm....cant think of anything else to day right now....so....haha, goody nite Mr Bloggy:D

2007-03-27T13:11:00.000+08:00

lalaaalalallalalaa.. hmm, okie, i discovered that i havent blogged for very long....hahha...okok, so i'll start from mission trip:D hmm, it was really good...the food, the weather...hahahaha...ok, basically what i learnt most was to rise up in faith:D as in, i dont usually go round praying for ppl and all, and being the youngest in the group...but God taught me, that as long as u let Him use you, you can do amazing stuff for Him, yay! haha, the Taiwan youth are really cool too...wish i could go back and visit them..haha, i celebrated my b.d there...during the camp...haha, that was a really good birthday, cos God really moved mightily at the night service, yay! hmm, im 17 now, i feel so old...anyways..i think i still didnt step out enough to let God use me...really hope that i can do so in the next mission trip..yeah...wont do a day to day analysis since i journalled it already...if u wanna find out bout it then ask me..MUA HAHA:P

Next... Miss C3 stole my beloved Esther:( that horrigible,terrigible vegetable:(:(:( wah...ok, maybe its kindof my fault since ive been suaning her constantly and i deserve it:( oh welly, haha, but thanks for the lunch treat!:D hahahahahahah

hmm, then on saturday went for medical check up in the morning...silly me didnt eat breakfast and went for it...then they drew my blood for the blood test( i never knew blood is so black), then like after 10 min everything became hazy and i almost blacked out...hahha, luckily there was a foodcourt next to the clinic so my dad rushed to buy milo for me..thanks dad:D i felt like an idiot...oh well, i'll learn:D Then in the afternoon, was ushering...such a typical ushering day...UNTIL. Cos miss C3 asked me to do info counter after service. So well, i did it. AND THEN she ask me, Merrill and Mel to follow her, cos she wanted to talk to us..so i was like, okay, she prob wants to talk to her bout some change in ushering...so i blindly followed them. Then the ushers started gathering around and i was like...OH NO.....then they sang happy birthday and miss C3 grabbed me and they started tying me up...attempted to tie me to the chair...and sprayed me wif whipped cream and chocolate syrup....goodness...i managed to escape from my chair but only managed to smear poor innocent Merrill and poor poor Tian Ying...heh...and my shirt and hair were a choc mess...i had choc gel for the rest of the night...worse thing was i had to go to my class gathering after church....good thing i was in ushering attire so i could change out of my shirt...and MISS HEATHER WEATHER, organiser of my sabo, kindly lent me a towel, so, yeah...choc gelled hair...u'll never want to have that...after that frightening experience was class gathering..haha, another cake...thanks guys for remembering:D thankfully no sabo( u guys are the best!;) haha....i hate choc gelled hair....:(

Anyways...yesterday went to Ngee Ann poly's laptop exhibition...bought a lappy! then went for x-ray...then went for dinner with relatives cos my aunt and uncle came down from Canada...yup...thats bout all for now...:D

2007-03-07T21:31:00.000+08:00

Taiwan trip is coming! Excited:D and nervous too....God use me....help me to step out of my comfort zone....i really wanna bless the ppl there...haha, goin to spend tml nite in church wif the rest of the mission trippers:D and then nxt tues will be bye bye Singapore and hello Taiwan, yay! hmm, havent blogged for quite long...basically its cos either im lazy to do so or really not in the mood to blog, so... ldrs meeting was last Sunday...really an awesome time of worship and all..God spoke to me bout trust...to trust in Him when i felt so useless..when all just seemed impossible....yup..and ushers out there, trust. That God will increase our number...that He has a plan for each and everyone of u, and He can use u mightily to do great things for Him(this includes u Audrey) :) yuppy yup, thats bout all...will definately blog when i come back from Taiwan, so, haha, bye Mr Bloggy for now:D

2007-03-01T09:10:00.000+08:00

oh wow. im unlovable and irritating. how great is that? God pls change me.

2007-02-09T23:54:00.000+08:00

Praise God, im a true living testimony...of God's mercy and of His grace:D:D:D well, O levels results came out today. I was quite anxious the past few days...but then God told me that everything was goin to b fine...that everything was in God's hands and His will would be done....why was i so anxoius at first?cos last year for prelims i scored 40 for L1R5. thats rite, 40. And i was just cryin out to God...why i got such a bad grade...with 40 points i couldnt even go jc, poly or even ITE....and then that day He told me why....it was cos He wanted me to learn to trust in Him...and He wanted people to know that nothing was impossible for Him, and He was using me to show others that....and that if i had been scoring good grades all along then wouldnt i have not grown as much in Him than i have now.. And really looking back...thank you God for Os....thank you God that u made me trust in you so much more through Os....cos today when i got back my results i got 14 for my L1R5, 11 for L1R4...it just amazes me...now i can even go to jc...God is so great...to top all of that, my results are in such a way that God has proved that it is when u trust in Him that He will do the impossible...cos i only had tuition for chinese and chem...and the rest my parents tried to help me to improve on( thanks mum and Dad) , and then my chem scored a 5, my chinese scored a three, and the rest of wad i consider 'impossible subjects', like A maths and combined humanities, which i have been failing if not barely passing, i got threes too, which really amazes me...this just goes to show that tuition cant bring miracles, only God can...God u are AWESOME...thanks daddy...and, sure, 14 for L1R5 is no big deal, so many of my frens got better results than me, but wad is amazing is how God guided me....amazed me with such a big jump of marks, and how His love endures forever:D:D:D

2007-01-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

God has been speaking alot to me these few days...bout certain stuff...missions....relationships...bout how He created me perfect...and all i can do to stand in amazement and worship the King of glory...God is amazing...how He knows every single person inside out...thier hurts...their past....and how He just comes and transform lives...touching lives so that we can go forth and lead others to the light...its just incredible....Lord i surrender my all to You...cos i believe that Your will is perfect and that as long as i walk in Your path....and have no need to fear....Thanks Dad... :)

2007-01-14T21:42:00.000+08:00

lalalalallalalaallala.....welly well...havent blogged for quite some time....well, a few updates...Number 1: I got a job at Phin's! yay!!!:D:D Number 2: Jesus Rocks!!! WHOOOO!!!!!!! Thank you God for all the ways that u've blessed me in, especially these few days:D:D Number 3: To all non-christians out there: JESUS LOVES YOU SO MUCH... :)

2007-01-03T12:07:00.000+08:00

lalaalallallalala......im kindof getting really bored....goin for interview at Ikea later....Lord, whatever happens, let your will be done...:)

Some trees are seasonal....They grow leaves in spring and have green leaves in spring and summer....then in autum the leaves turn orange and red and they start to fall....till in winter the trees are bare....Lord, please help my spiritual life to be that of an evergreen tree....:D

2007-01-01T16:37:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year ppl!:D Well, guess wads my new year resolution? Yes! Grow taller! yay:D and also to grow deeper in Jesus:D:D Well, i was working yesterday for a while...selling candy floss! hahahha...it was fun...a bit tiring but fun:D yay......well, nothing much to say....llalalalalalala....lalala....oh welly, bye for now Mr Blog:D I should name my blog....

2006-12-21T22:56:00.000+08:00

THANK YOU JESUS THAT THE BLACKOUT TODAY DIDNT AFFECT PASIR RIS!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D

2006-12-21T22:37:00.000+08:00

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!back from Strings:D IT. WAS. AMAZING. :D:D:Dwow...firstly, good job fellow ushering dudes:D secondly, wow....58 salvations.....PRAISE GOD!!!!:D:D Lord, continue to help these new christians grow so much in u...:D:D YAY!!!! the musical was really good too....basically the whole thing was GREAT:D GOD IS SO AWESOME!!!!! :D:D:D:D oh ya! Thanks to those who gave me christmas prezzies!!hahahah..:D

2006-12-17T16:32:00.000+08:00

lalalalala........i shall make 'lalalalallala' the start of all my entries and call in the Sarah Trademark:D nah, lalalalalalala is just when im in a good mood:D well, Saturday came and went. The day i was kindof worrying abt...well, i guess everyone did a not bad job, considering that its our first time ushering at worship centre...but lots of improvements to be made before 21st Dec. Do you know why ppl????Cos on the 21st its STRINGS!!!!!! and STRINGS=SOULS SAVED=HEAVEN BEING FILLED=WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! yup, thats why, and with more than 1000 ppl coming we need to pray for lots and lots of God's grace for this event that everything will run smoothly and we the ushers wont mess up. Eunice and I concluded that: CORDELIA!!!!! WE NEED U!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha...yuppy yup....

Well, mum decided to give me my christmas present early....MUM U ROCK!!!!!:D:D:D:D thank u so much mum!!!! yay....whooooo!!!! more songs to listen too.....:D:D:D Hillsongs rocks..Jesus rocks.....yay.....:D

2006-12-13T22:07:00.000+08:00

lalallalalala......i discovered that the roof in church is great....for sleeping! hahahaha.....well, this few days have been the usual slacking and not doing much...Lord, please give me and the whole usher team the strengh this sat to serve you wholeheartedly...help me not to mess things up...thanks Jesus:)WHOO!!! MEGALIFE IN WORSHIP CENTRE THIS SAT PEOPLE!!!!:D:D:D

2006-12-10T00:15:00.000+08:00

CELL WAS GREAT TODAY!!!!:D:D:D:D:D

2006-12-09T11:39:00.000+08:00

lalalalaalalaalalalallala.......just woke up not too long ago from more than 12 hours of sleep:D oh welly....ushers camp rocked!!!! well, it was really interesting, being the first ushers camp the ushering ministry ever had.....really by God's grace that everything ran quite smoothly.....lots of stuff can be improved on though...lalalala, but it was still great:D wanted to type all this last night but after a few moments started nodding off, so.....hahaha....the games were really fun...hahaha....all the flour and the egg and the 5 cent coins....hahaha....and the workshop....was the oil nice ushers?( grins) hahaha..then services...a big thanks to Ern for coming down to share with us bout servanthood:D training was crazy...300 metres Esther....oh well, it was good training:D:D lallalala....yay, today theres megalife!!!!whoo!!! :D:D:D:D:D

2006-12-06T21:15:00.000+08:00

lalalalalalala........USHERS CAMP IS TOMMOROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wow......yay, its gonna rock!!! i sense that God's gonna move in that camp......YAY!!! oh well, nothing else to say....went job hunting yesterday with Cord......God, pls help the place that you want us to work at to hire us, thanks:D lalaalallalalalala........USHERS CAMP IS GONNA ROCK!!!:D:D:D

2006-12-01T22:49:00.000+08:00

okay, i think im crazy:D and Cord's crazy too, hahahahah........pls tell me who else goes and wander around Vivo city almost the whole day one day after church camp??? absolutely crazy.....oh well.....basically we went there to look for a job...ended up walking around Vivo...that place is BIG!!!! oh man....we went in Toys-R-Us.....hhahaha.......yeah yeah, so childish....basically we went inside lots of stores....then found the cinema....poor Cord, i dragged her to go watch Open Season....hey, it was funny k?? hahhha......then after that she dragged me go watch Casino Royale...okok, not really drag..hahaha, tried to kill some time before that....yay, two movies in one day, whoohoo!!! hahahahahha........

i dont why, but the word GO just keeps coming and coming to me since last week.....oh well, something to think about...whoo!!!!! Megalife's tommorow!!!!!:D:D:D

2006-11-30T21:02:00.000+08:00

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAMP WAS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahaha, oh well, so here's a summary of my version of Megalife's FORTIFIED camp:

MONDAY:
reached church, played a game at pasir ris beach, hahahah.........really fun.....then we went crazy and drew on this brick that we were supposed to carry with us.....drew a girl face n one side and a guy face on the other, i drew the girl and we named her Sandy and i think Isabel drew the guy...we named him Rocky....then we signed all our names and added some stuff to it....by the way, my group was Meshullum, our domain was Jericho...whooo!!! haahah.....then we went to the camp site and unpacked and stuff....had workshops and night service which was amazing....God's presence swept through the room we were in....

Tuesday:
All the workshops and services again...God never ceases to amaze us...played 'war'...hahahah, i think it was a tie....

Wednesday:
this was the BEST day:D:D:D wow...okay, so, cos God has been telling me bout my calling since Extreme camp....about going to win nations for Him....and so before camp and actually throughout camp i prayed that if God thought that i was ready to embrace what He has been talking to me about, then let there be an altar call for missions and stuff....well the last altar call that Pastor Chris Long gave was bout guess wad? Full time ministry....about if u sensed that God has been telling u about serving full time, be it a pastor or a missionary, then pls come up to the front....i was like....WOW:D:D hahaa, God is so awesome!!! before that we had a workshop...the workshop was amazing....learnt so many things.....humility.....to worship under any circumstance.....to save one more for Jesus.....wow....

Thursday:
Boo hoo hoo, last day of camp, but still God never failed to amazed us during worship again....God was and is so great.....then everyone went crazy and it was a fun time of worshipping the Lord and doin crazy things.....:D:D:D:D

well, thats about all i can remember right now, will write down if i remember more stuff....right now its time to Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

2006-11-25T23:18:00.000+08:00

well, we guessed correctly.....mission trip to Taiwan was postponed to next year......As first i was really upset....i mean, i have been waiting to go for mission trip for a long time, and i could finally go this year,then....but then when i talked to God bout it...He reminded me that His way is the best way, not mine...that though i may not understand His plans right now, His plans are what is best for me....sure, i may not be going to Taiwan, but then that just means that God is changing my mission field to Singapore instead of Taiwan....homeground...where my friends and family are....so instead of evengelising in Taiwan, i better start reaching out to those around me...those close to me.....God works in wonderful ways...so thank you Jesus for setting me on a different path, and let Your will be done:D

2006-11-23T22:54:00.000+08:00

GO. Its time to go. time to go out there and reap the harvest. Well, just came back from prayer meeting....today was really great....in the sense that God spoke to me bout some stuff....yeah....today God restored that broken heart....God reminded me how awesome He was....that as long as you have God, you have everything, and as long as you trusted in Him, you had nothing to fear........GO.

2006-11-22T05:54:00.000+08:00

lalllalaalala......ok, so, what am i doing typing a blog entry at 5 plus in the morning? hahaha, just got back from Malaysia, and since i didnt feel like sleeping....thought i'd do a summary abt my trip just for laughs:

Sunday:
reached po po's house at 5 plus am, the usual routine of hellos and eating a morning snack and stuff....po po's asthma is real bad now...christians out there pls help me pray for her....anyway, slept quite a lot on the bus, so bro and i decided to watch tv...stoned in front of it until 8+....that was when Ing-e-e and the adorable Kimberly and Ezekiel came over......family went out for breakfast with them, ordered curry beehoon...of course it was nice..now, for ppl who have never been to Perak, Sitiawan before, then you will not know that the food there is GOOD, and when i say good i mean REALLY GOOD:D hahaha......then we went to visit uncle Gong-Ping's new house....after tat accompanied mum and Ing-e-e to the hair dresser...went Fajar( shopping centre) for a while too....went back to po-po's house, discovered that JENNY came over, usual screaming and hugging and everything....discovered that her exam( equivilent to Os) starts on monday:( oh welly....i think the rest of the day consisted of more stoning in front of the tv watching playhouse disney( Kim and Eze's fave channel)...reading a bit....tryin to learn fuchow...yeah....oh yes! and going to Lumut to eat only the best ice kacang and Penang laksa ive ever tasted:D:D:D

Monday:
more stoning in front of the tv....played weird games with kim and eze and in the process discovered how childish i still was...went to Lumut again....oh yes! went to tis prata place for breakfast which of couse has the best prata and teh tarak( or however it's spelt)....went to Billion( another shopping place) Ah-Pat came along.....built a card pyramid with Eze's elp( for a three year old he's real smart) haha, unfortunated my card pyramid was more like the leaning tower of Pisa....so....bro did manage to get a pic of it though, hahha, before it fell down....Kim drew a portrait of me....so cute...

Tuesday:
went to the noodle shop again for breakfast....went back to po-po's house...stoned...Eve came over for lunch, we ended up talking abt hilarious stuff...went Fajar again....mum gave Eze and Kim their christmas presents....played with them...went to pack up....oh yes! mum managed to get the biscuits that i like! whoo! hahaha.....said all the bye byes....finally managed to tell po-po what God has placed in my heart to say a long time ago....went to catch the bus and now im back:D

oh welly... wanna to say a big thank you to Ing-e-e and Uncle Keekai for bringing us all over the place:D well, time to sleep, goody night everybody:D:D:D

2006-11-18T01:18:00.000+08:00

Whoohoooo!!!! It's over!!!! So, time to slack, slack, and slack some more:D:D:D:D:D Well, holidays are gonna be VERY BUSY.....Malaysia....church camp....mission training....MISSION TRIP:D:D:D....Christmas.....lalalallalalala.......yay! going back to Sitwawan! And that means i get to see grandma and grandpa and Jenny and all the other cousins and the very cute Kimberly and Ezekiel....wonder whether Kimberly remembers me....hahaha.....oh welly, still have to pack my bag for tommorow's trip.....and lots of other stuff to do:Doh yes! thank you Jesus for seeing my through the whole of Os!:D

2006-10-28T19:44:00.000+08:00

lalallalalalalalala.......Finally i managed to serve today:) yayayayayayayay:D Oh well, i conclude that i am one blur sotong though, heheheheheh....went jogging with Dad yesterday to punngol and then walked back...im very out of shape:( Oh well...The main reason i blogged was to say that I, Sarah Wong, am officially NOT going to touch the computer until the 17th of November, after 4 o'clock. yay. Its gonna be hard...but God reminded me that there are better things to do when im taking breaks....its time to get serious with God, no more dilly dallying and putting off until after Os. Cos ive got to be prepared for whats gonna happen after Os....especially going back to Malaysia....and missions...and the musical... God, please help me not to hold back like last year....help me not to be afraid...give me the right stuff to say....help me not to come back with regrets again....i wanna touch their hearts....amen...well, so bye bye Mr Blog, I'll see you in about three weeks' time:D